I am having horrible trouble with shopping for things and it feels like my OCD. I am constantly on different web sites like Amazon and Ebay looking at different items I want, searching Google for different things to buy such as computers and shoes. At first it feels fun to shop online and pick something I want. But then I get exhausted comparison shopping and stressed that I am taking too long to buy something I need. I will then finally break down and buy something and then have a panic after I spent the money, something like Buyer's Remorse. Often the package arrives and I do not like it for some reason and I then I get really exhausted because I have to start shopping again and go through returning it and finding something else. I start worrying about spending too much, then worry that I have the money and I should spend more on myself and get something of quality. This often happens over and over again.
For example, right now I am shopping around for a laptop, tablet and new phone. I already bought one tablet and am in the process of returning it now. I am online a lot reading reviews, going to different sites looking for different products. It takes over my life. It is like I am trying to find the perfect item for the perfect price. For example, I am looking to buy a laptop but I don't know if I should get a Mac or PC. Macs are so expensive so I am looking on all the web sites for used and refurbished deals. I am constantly surfing the web and feel anxious that I won't be able to do my job until I get the right tool since I am a computer programmer. It makes me worried and empty and making a decision is hard and I am constantly on the Internet shopping sites doing research which has become like my pastime and is fun but tiring and a waste of time. It is like I just can't buy something and enjoy it.
I have money now so I can shop more. But all of this decision is so daunting to me. Someone once said that decisions can lead to depression and it has been for me.
It used to be this obsession about buying clothes, particularly sweaters. I wanted to find the perfect wool sweater so I would constantly be on all of the apparel web sites comparing prices, finding deals. I have 15 sweaters now where I had 2 or 3 before. It's OK now because I wear all of them and I like having them but buying them was a stressful, exhausting process. I had packages going out and in, returning things, surfing the web, etc.
Then buying a new flat screen TV was nuts. I actually drove to the Best Buy for this, bought a TV, brought it home. Then I though I saw some light bleed on it so I packed it all up, brought it back, returned it and got another of the same kind. This one I thought the audio sounded weird so again I packed it up, drove down to BB, got another one and came back. Luckily I was satisfied with this one. I was praying it would be OK because I was so tired from returning these things.
I am wondering if anyone has a similar experience with their OCD and buying things? My OCD originally manifested itself as fear of harming others by leaving the stove on and starting a fire or leaving the water on and starting a flood. This has actually improved a lot. I have been on Luvox for a long time but what I feel helped was exercise. Once I started working out again and getting in shape my OCD waned and I was able to be under control with it.