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Author Topic: OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.  (Read 336 times)

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Offline azsoar

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OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.
« on: April 29, 2014, 01:55:01 AM »
I am having horrible trouble with shopping for things and it feels like my OCD.  I am constantly on different web sites like Amazon and Ebay looking at different items I want, searching Google for different things to buy such as computers and shoes.  At first it feels fun to shop online and pick something I want.  But then I get exhausted comparison shopping and stressed that I am taking too long to buy something I need.  I will then finally break down and buy something and then have a panic after I spent the money, something like Buyer's Remorse.  Often the package arrives and I do not like it for some reason and I then I get really exhausted because I have to start shopping again and go through returning it and finding something else.  I start worrying about spending too much, then worry that I have the money and I should spend more on myself and get something of quality.  This often happens over and over again.

For example, right now I am shopping around for a laptop, tablet and new phone.  I already bought one tablet and am in the process of returning it now.  I am online a lot reading reviews, going to different sites looking for different products.  It takes over my life.  It is like I am trying to find the perfect item for the perfect price.  For example, I am looking to buy a laptop but I don't know if I should get a Mac or PC.  Macs are so expensive so I am looking on all the web sites for used and refurbished deals.  I am constantly surfing the web and feel anxious that I won't be able to do my job until I get the right tool since I am a computer programmer.  It makes me worried and empty and making a decision is hard and I am constantly on the Internet shopping sites doing research which has become like my pastime and is fun but tiring and a waste of time.  It is like I just can't buy something and enjoy it.

I have money now so I can shop more.  But all of this decision is so daunting to me.  Someone once said that decisions can lead to depression and it has been for me.

It used to be this obsession about buying clothes, particularly sweaters.  I wanted to find the perfect wool sweater so I would constantly be on all of the apparel web sites comparing prices, finding deals.  I have 15 sweaters now where I had 2 or 3 before.  It's OK now because I wear all of them and I like having them but buying them was a stressful, exhausting process.  I had packages going out and in, returning things, surfing the web, etc.

Then buying a new flat screen TV was nuts.  I actually drove to the Best Buy for this, bought a TV, brought it home.  Then I though I saw some light bleed on it so I packed it all up, brought it back, returned it and got another of the same kind.  This one I thought the audio sounded weird so again I packed it up, drove down to BB, got another one and came back.  Luckily I was satisfied with this one.  I was praying it would be OK because I was so tired from returning these things.

I am wondering if anyone has a similar experience with their OCD and buying things?  My OCD originally manifested itself as fear of harming others by leaving the stove on and starting a fire or leaving the water on and starting a flood.  This has actually improved a lot.  I have been on Luvox for a long time but what I feel helped was exercise.  Once I started working out again and getting in shape my OCD waned and I was able to be under control with it.
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: OCD about buying and selling things, especially online.
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2014, 02:14:50 AM »
Sorry to hear that you're struggling with this.

I have somewhat of a bad buyers remorse... even on something I've been planning on getting. I often ponder if I should have even spent the money in the first place. Although this is much more acute than your current situation I figured I'd touch base with you regardless.

From the sounds of if, this stuff isn't really an impulse buy, so for feeling remorseful for these purchases shouldn't bother you as much as if you went on a blind-folded shopping spree. Of course that's me calling the kettle white when in your eyes it's black...

How do you go about these purchases? Do you budget yourself for these things? It's not a bad thing to splurge on yourself from time to time if the money is right. You can have all the money in the world, but it's just paper in the end. We are all entitled to enjoyment of what we buy and what we add to our personal wants and needs.

Shopping online is tricky because you don't really get to tinker with the item before you purchase it. I have bought some cheap sweatshirts from overseas in which I had to convert US sizes to like Korean sizes or Japanese. What a pain in the butt... The item looked awesome, but when I got it, it didn't fit my build. it was too short on me and the shoulders were too narrow, the fit was fine more or less but those certain characteristics threw it off. Of course I was dissappointed when I received the item, but I didn't meddle with it too much as money comes and money goes.

For your technological purchases have you possibly visited some local stores to see those items on display? As competition surrounds every product known to the human race... each and every single item has their own proprietary pros and cons. Take into perspective what you expect to do with the item before you search through the vast varieties. Mac computers, though expensive, provide a much more secure OS than Windows in my personal opinion, not to mention they are trendy. When you go and purchase a laptop at the store, it's often pre-loaded with tons of junk. But that's not too bad, you can make it what it is. You can go and remove any of the software and make backup disks if your computer starts to lag up a bit. Those things are very versatile to personal needs, you just have to learn how to mend the mould.

When you purchase something for a reason, remember that reason and keep any negative mental repercussions aside. You pre-meditated the purchase. You found the reason why you needed it. You budgeted your money and it doesn't inflict you financially. Seeing money go is a very powerful negative effect on the mind, but when done in a controlled fashion the damage isn't as bad as it seems.

There's always reason for a splurge, and when done appropriately you are benefitting yourself with enjoyment and reward. You earned those $$. (:

Best wishes.
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Offline azsoar

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Re: OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2014, 02:18:43 AM »
Thanks potatoes!  You gave me some good advice to keep in mind!
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Offline bluerose

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Re: OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2014, 02:25:29 AM »
I'm a plus size and there are certain types of clothing that I can't find to fit me even in a plus size store.  I've been obsessing over some items, but mostly unlike most of my OCD I looked at it like a project and kind of had fun with it.  Of course when you order clothes on line you never know if they will fit right.  I did find some that fit and some that didn't which I had to return by mail.  But I've found some interesting items that I really needed on line, like special litter box liners for my cat's jumbo size litter box.  For some reason Target sold these on line, but not in their stores.  I later found that Petco did sell them at their store.  This has saved me a lot of work with not having to scrub out the box every month.  I also found oral syringes for my cat who takes 3 medicines and ordered them on line.  The first one I got that lasted forever was from Walgreens.  Then they quit carrying them and I could find no other pharmacy that did.  They all had the rubber grommet (including the ones the his vet had at the animal hospital).  That kind wears out and gets stuck after a short time.  Now I had the oral syringes that I can wash and keep using indefinitely.  The joys of OCD!
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Offline GuyWithOCD

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Re: OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2014, 12:47:24 AM »
Hey azsoar. I thought I would never find someone with this type of behavior, I thought I was the only one. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I do this with music equipment I purchase. I am trying to learn how to create music electronically but I am always to caught up on buying the perfect product. I have probably bought this one machine and returned it 10 times. I always seem to find something wrong with it. For example a pad or button looks crooked. When I think of purchasing something that I want it is depressing because now I just worry I am going to find something wrong with it. I think the only way is to expose yourself to the distress and anxiety and fight through it and keep the item.
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Offline azsoar

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Re: OCD about buying and returning products, especially online.
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2014, 02:14:24 AM »
GuyWithOCD, that is exactly what I go through, sounds like you know how I feel.
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