Hi Ancient Melody - Thank you for validating my feelings. My husband and I get through so much using humor or else I think we would be depressed all the time. He has been through a lot and so have I. We like to point and laugh at me while I was on Cymbalta because the reality was that it wasn't really funny. He watched me start drinking and unhealthy amount of alcohol, gain ten pounds and lack the energy to get out of bed in the morning to go running, which has always helped me so much. And then the transition from Cymbalta to Lexapro included a lot of crying, staying in bed and me beating myself up. So now we joke about it because things are better and we want to put that behind us.
My Dad died of internal bleeding about 3 1/2 years ago. I left my parents house at around 6:00pm the day before, told me Dad I loved him and the next day I returned to take him to a doctors appointment and he was laying in bed with his eyes open, cold and dead. My poor Mom, who was battling ovarian cancer at the time (she also died, 2 years after my Dad), was sitting a few rooms away watching TV in a daze. She didn't even realize that he had died. I walked in the room and thought he might be dead. He certainly looked dead. I started to run to my Mom's room but I thought, "I should check to be sure" so I went back in and touched him with my finger. As cold as ice. I ran to my Mom's room and said "Dad is dead" and then looked at her and said "Well, what do we do???!" She said to call 911 and we did and the whole day was a blur. It was awful. But now my husband and I joke about it because when people hear that story they are horrified. But then I talk about going back and poking my dad with a finger just to make sure he was really dead and we laugh. My Dad died in his sleep peacefully, that is the positive outcome.
At any rate, I don't have all the answers today but thank you for validating my feelings.