I know exactly how you feel....actually, I think most of us here do
I've been suffering with mine for over 9 years now.
I am ready to be done with this as well.
It sucks and literally drains all life from you and replaces it with a paralyzing and constant fear.
I hate it....
But, you will get through this and come out a stronger person than you were before because of it.
It's just going to take a little time....baby steps.
And it might not take you that long since you're already so tired of this.
I believe the only reason I still deal with mine is because for about 6-7 years of this I just kind of listened to the doctors and figured something was wrong with me, mentally, dealt with the horrible symptoms, made all kinds of excuses: blaming others, and just never looked any further into it.
But, over the last couple of years I have started reading books, doing research, etc.
Now that I understand what it is that is going on with me I seem to be able to control it better.
I'm not completely over my anxiety, but, it is so much better than it was....and this is medication free.
(I am terrified of meds)
But, it just keeps getting better everyday.
I know I will conquer this one day....it is just going to take some time....as will you.
We will win this war, but, it will have to be one battle at a time