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Author Topic: dont know what to do anymore  (Read 184 times)

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Offline anxiousadam

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dont know what to do anymore
« on: April 26, 2014, 03:32:34 AM »
Hello all. I'm 25, male from cali.

So i have about a 3 year history with anxiety disorder. it started in 2008 after my dad suffered a heart attack. Not long after I began getting panic attacks and a result became agorophobic. After about 3 months of utter hell, convinced I had a serious illness, I gave in and saw a cbt therapist. After a few months of medication and CBT I recovered and was doing pretty well.

All that went to crap this past December when I had a bout of sinus infections. Since then my anxiety (mostly hypochondrasis) has gone into over drive. CBT, zoloft, regular therapy, nothing seems to be helping.I've had 24 (yes I counted) doctors appointments since January. These include my reg doc, 3 ENT's, and a gastroentrologist. No matter what I tell myself, I cannot get the thought out of my head that something is seriously wrong with me and they just haven't found it.

A list of my physical objective symptoms:

excess blood and mucus in stool

headaches

dizziniess

tinnusits ( especially bad because I can hear my pulse all the time)

sleepiness (10-12 hours a day and still tired)

10 pound weight loss in a month

ear aches

swollen lymphnodes

feeling brain fog, like I can think of words, forget things, bad memory

I've had about 4 blood tests, ct scan, stress test
All my tests have come back fine, (expect my ct scan which showed i had a sinus infection & a blood test which showed high liver enzymes but everything was ruled out and it went back to normal shortly after my infection subsided)



I can stress enough the other pain this is causing me. I'm depressed, missing school (might compromise my graduation in two weeks), constantly anxious and worried. I have 0 energy, literally getting out of bed is exhausting. I google my symptoms and have been convinced I have Chrons disease, a tumor, tesitcular cancer, heart problems, the list goes on and on. The new one im worried about, is something wrong with my brain like a tumor or such. I really want to see a neurologist but feel like my doctors wont believe me or give me referral. Even though i can intellectually understand I have hypochondria, part of me keeps thinking they missed something or that some of these symptoms are too "real" to be cause by mere anxiety. I don't know what to do, im truly at my wits end.

Thanks for listening, i hope i might find some comfort in this forum
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Offline edbrown

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Re: dont know what to do anymore
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2014, 11:53:52 PM »
I don't know what specific help I can give you, since you're a longer term sufferer than I am, but I can say with confidence in my time with health anxiety I have experienced many of the same symptoms, and each has been directly attributable to my anxiety. I've had tingling extremities, headaches, twitches, a whole range of seemingly minor things that my mind blew way out of proportion, all in the past few months.

My biggest breakthrough in dealing with it has been avoiding everything that I predict might "trigger" my anxiety. Never, absolutely ever, google your symptoms, it will never help. I used to convince myself if I googled for a different disease with similar symptoms, I could convince myself I had that instead of what I really feared, but the irrationality of that move completely blows my mind, and I'd be back to reading about my original enemy in no time. It's a lot like an addiction, googling your symptoms will never help, even though it feels like it will at the time. Likewise I do my best to avoid all stories of people who die prematurely, or really stories of people who die in general. It seems heartless, but I know in my relatively weakened state any bad stories my mind decides to latch on to would send me over the edge, as they have repeatedly in the past.

Do whatever you can to get the thoughts out of your head. Don't hang out at home, brooding in the dark like I did, it only made things worse for me. And good luck!
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Offline anxiousadam

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Re: dont know what to do anymore
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2014, 07:18:41 AM »
thanks for the reply, it does give some comfort, i just dont know anymore
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