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Author Topic: I need some advice...  (Read 150 times)

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Offline CynicalLove

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I need some advice...
« on: April 23, 2014, 11:09:19 PM »
Ok so my 17 year old sister has a 20 year old boyfriend who she's been with for over a year.  Every single person in our entire family who has ever met him, hates him.  He is very rude, sarcastic and a huge egomaniac.  He is a liar, and also does very dramatic things to ensure he is the center of attention.  He is childish, and does things that are so annoying and repetitive to my sister, that I would consider it abuse.  I've tried talking to my sister about how we are concerned about their relationship, but she wants nothing to do with it.  He spends the night with her Thursday night through Tuesday day, every week and my everyone is stressed from seeing him that frequently.  She thinks we are all judgemental and says she loves him a lot.  I'm gonna list different situations that have happened, what do you think about him?

Randomly came up to me while I visited family at the campground and told me he can beat my husband up, and that my husband is nothing but skin and bones and he can take him on

Told my mom he buys my sister gifts so she "does what he wants"

Threatens ***** if he has no ride and my sister will not pick him up

Has random temper tantrums, kicks things and screams

Constantly is pestering my sister.  Mimics her, dumps water on her face and is just generally annoying pretty much all the time. 

Eats all of my parents food, also helps himself to my grandmas fridge when they go over there,  even after being talked to about it

Was seen by my coworker at a his highschool he already graduated from, talking to a bunch of girls.  Told my sister and she said he denied he was there, and she believed him

She used to constantly cry to me how she caught him flirting with, or texting other girls

Throws a fit every time my sister wants to get off the phone with him.  Ends up being a half hour deal with her trying to convince him she's actually busy and that it's not cause she doesn't care about him anymore


My grandma doesn't want him in her house anymore, relatives don't want him at family parties and its getting stressful.  I can't get through to my sister and they even have promise rings.  I'm scared they are going to get married and she will get hurt.  I just don't know what to do.  Everyone is stressed, she is being strung around by him and everyone is concerned.  Ok rant over  :goofy:
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I've been hurt but I'll continue to love, for that gives me courage to go on with my life.

Offline Cuchculan

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Re: I need some advice...
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2014, 05:33:39 AM »
Now you know where the old saying comes from that says ' love is blind '. The sad part of all of this is that your sister has to see these things for herself. You pointing them out to her will only make her think you are trying to get in the way. We know you are not. But she may view things this way. What you all see, she refuses to see. I assume he stays over at the family home? If your family don't like him that much they can simply say they don't want him staying in their home any more. That would be a good starting place. Your sister might react badly to this. It would throw a spanner in the works. It would mean they would have to change their meeting days and times. Sadly you can't change anything by yourself. Neither can your family. This is between your sister and her boyfriend. Maybe she likes them wild. That is her type of person. Unless she ever changes her mind, it would appear that things will continue as they are. The only thing your parents can insist on is that he is not allowed stay in the family home. Other than that it is between the two of them.
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Offline nettnett

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Re: I need some advice...
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2014, 05:34:58 AM »
Some people just need to figure things out by themselves.  Hopefully, it is just a phase relationship for her.  She has a lot of years before the marriage thing comes up too.  I would not worry about that right now.  Mainly, because her boyfriend does not seem the type to get a ring.  He rather play the fields to see what other opportunities are out there for him.  Hang in there and everything has a way of working itself out.
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