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Author Topic: Pepper Spray  (Read 171 times)

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Offline Anxiety-iskillingme

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Pepper Spray
« on: April 23, 2014, 03:36:53 PM »
So, I just bought pepper spray yesterday.

It's a long story i'm not going to get in to, but basically there's at least 3 people who do not like me for really idiotic reasons. They are all seniors in high school. i'm 21. The only reason I even came into contact with them (ACTUALLY I've only ever met one of them) is because their friend dropped out and was going to the same campus as my boyfriend. I honestly want nothing more than for them to stay the hell away from me, but they are all graduating this year and most-likely going to be going to my campus. One of them is a guy who thinks that, because he's gay, it's alright for him to coldcock women in the throat, and he got away with it because he was 17 and she was 20. I'm really freaked out.. my life has become stressing about them 24/7

My boyfriend finally put his foot down and made me go buy pepper spray.
The thing is, i've been reading online and this crap is basically useless because you can't really use it until you've already been attacked. not if someone is following you or getting in your face and threatening you.

The thing is, if these people come up to me in a GROUP, what am i supposed to do? Let them knock me around before I'm allowed to defend myself??? I mean, 3/4 against 1 and I can't pepper spray them if I give them a warning to back off first?
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Pepper Spray
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2014, 04:15:55 PM »
Good afternoon,

Have these people been bothering you or are you collecting pieces from what have happened in the past, and planning out scenarios?
When doing that, you've got to be careful because your mind tends to pick "Worst-Case Scenarios". You've got to think of the realism involved in that... Let me elaborate.

You, for example, see this person(s) as a threat. A threat to you physically, emotionally and/or mentally. Instantly you are nerve-racked about what they might do have you encounter them in a dark alley. You have pepper spray and you are held back on when is the appropriate time to pepper spray someone. That is also a threat.

If you view it from their perspective, however.... They might not even think two thoughts about you let alone what has happened in the past. You stated you only met one of them. Boiled down to nuts and bolts.... They don't know you. They don't know what you're capable of, what you're capable of doing.... and to them... That is a threat. Doesn't mean that threat is floating above your head every time you're in the same locations... but if they meditated to physically harm you just that alone poses some pretty strong force as to not carry out harm.

That's not even accounting for the fact of social threat. How would something like this go unnoticed? Surely if they were to confront you... physically harm you in any way.. They are looking at some serious repercussions. People don't let that go easily because they don't want the same thing to happen to them. They want to neutralize the threat.

That being said... The first paragraph states that you as a person and what you're capable of is a threat. So out of nowhere are they going to swoop from grappling hooks and physically harm you on your way to the bathroom? There are just too many variables on that. Think of what you'd do. Why doesn't a criminal who steals wheels off of a car steal wheels off of every car in every neighborhood in their entire city? There's too many variables in that. If you continue to stand your ground, Don't let your mind take over what isn't really there, They are not going to bother you.

I wouldn't go into a bar and start swinging on some random guy I didn't first have any knowledge or understanding of what he's capable of. He could be a cold blooded hitman for all I know.


If you pose yourself as healthy and not cowering while they are in your presence there is nothing that they will do to you without you egging it on. You're more likely over thinking the entire situation... as I see you are worried about them coming to your campus next year. I was and still am at times... the same exact way. Think about it like this... They come to your campus next year. So what? Let them go there. If they give you problems don't show your weak side and there is nothing that they will step out of their safezone to do. It's just not worth it.



As for the pepper spray. Keep it handy and make sure you know how to use it. Under stress you're fumbling around you don't know what you're doing... Do your best to keep it in a comfortable spot, that you know the fastest way to activate the spray. If you got it stowed away and it takes you 15 seconds to pull it out, undo the safety mechanism on it and spray your target... that's too much time to waste in a critical situation.

Don't think about using the spray. It's not a talisman and don't rely on it to keep you in the comfort zone. It's a tool.

It is justified to be used when you feel there is a critical threat to your own personal safety or a loved one. It doesn't matter where it is. If you feel that something is about to escalate, remember where it is. If things escalate and there is nothing physically you can do to remove yourself from harm, use the spray. Believe me you know when... if you practice what I said earlier you won't have to think about "Hmm should I pull this spray out now or wait a few minutes". You're going to sense it.

It all just depends on the situation too..
I mean if you pull the spray out and they see that... Nobody wants to take that stuff to the face. I wouldn't even do it if I was drunk.

Tased.... Maybe. I kinda wanna get tased.
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Offline Anxiety-iskillingme

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Re: Pepper Spray
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2014, 04:33:47 PM »
I know it's most likely my anxiety making me over-think the situation.
when i'm not having an anxiety attack and I can generally think clearly, I know I really don't need to worry.

but it just kind of stresses me out because if the situation came down to it, if I did end up having to spray them, I worry they might be able to twist it around on me... I basically feel stuck in a situation where I don't feel safe and I feel like I am not allowed to defend myself should the need arise...
My other worry is them vandalizing my car... but that's a whole different worry all together....
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Pepper Spray
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2014, 04:50:38 PM »
The whole vandalizing your car thing I went through the same exact thing just this year. In fact you're the first person I've read that I can correlate our same situations. I had a friend who was literally afraid of me. He wouldn't have done anything to harm me but "What If?" I always asked myself that. He would rob other people, pulled a gun on someone over something stupid... But would never cross me. I also felt very entitled to be there when he was in need of something. Place to stay... Transportation... etc etc.

Your anxiety runs wild but you've got to see it from the perspective. The odds of them doing anything to begin with is minimal. We see those movies where a drug deal goes bad and they have the whole mexican cartel after them. It doesn't work like that. How do they know you don't have a handgun stowed away and you're going to lose it, and drop them all in a matter of seconds? They don't. And it is not realistic for them to take that chance.

Think of what they'd gain from harming you or vandalizing you in the first place. Are you their primary target? Has what you done to them outweigh the chances of going to jail for vandalizing your car or having battery/assault charges clung to them for the rest of their lives? It's easy to think that they can just drive down the road and slash your tires but it's not as easy as you'd think.

Next time you drive... Find a random house... Look at their car. Then think... How would you execute the plan of doing something petty as to vandalize their car? their property? Look at that house and from the outside can you tell what weapons they have inside? How many people live there? What the mindset those people are in towards punks who come through and destroy their property? What about their neighbors? Who is going to witness you doing that? And who isn't going to anonymously call the police on you? Too much to risk for something so petty. If it were easy... Believe me everybody would be doing it every minute of every day.

As for them turning around and using it on you. If it is justified then there is nothing for them to turn back on. They have no say in that. You don't pepper spray someone that isn't threatening you. Use it appropriately and they won't stand a chance.
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Offline Walnut

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Re: Pepper Spray
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2014, 08:00:28 PM »
you need to contact law enforcement and find out what the laws are in your state for self defense.
in my state if someone is coming at me with a weapon i have the right to shoot to kill.
every state has laws on self defense and im pretty sure you dont have to sit around and wait for this person to attack you. i would think that if they were threatening you and you told them to back away and you told them that you would spray them and they still came at you in an aggressive manner then you should have every right to spray them in the mouth and eyes. and if you do make sure YOU call the police FIRST before they do so tha the police get the real story. if this person tried to attack you and you sprayed them and walked away. they could call the cops and say you sprayed them for no reason and then you would be in trouble. 
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