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Author Topic: obsessive thoughts about my husband  (Read 384 times)

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Offline worryworm

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obsessive thoughts about my husband
« on: April 22, 2014, 06:40:41 AM »
hi.  I'm new here and have some questions about some worrying thoughts I keep having.  I suffered from postnatal anxiety after the birth of my daughter which over time seems to have changed from worrying about her to horrible thoughts about my husband.  I keep thinking he must have cheated on me or will do, I worry that he regrets splitting up from his ex and that he would prefer to be with her, I wonder if he has ever paid for things he shouldn't, I keep wondering about his other previous relationships and what he did.  We've been together over 10 years, we're happily married, own a house together and have a child together.  I have absolutely no evidence that he any of this is true, but I can't get it out of my head.  He knows how I feel and is very understanding, but I always want to quiz him.  I spend hours looking on ***** for clues that he's cheating on me.  I know these thoughts are irrational, but they've taken over my life.  I can't enjoy anything and feel uncomfortable around my husband.  I feel like a really awful person for thinking like this.  I should trust him completely, as he does me.  He would be better off without me and be with someone who can behave rationally.  I hate myself so much.  My doctor says I'm showing some signs of obsessive behaviour.  Is this a type of ocd?  Does anyone else have thoughts like this or am I just plain jealous and horrible?
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Online tinam7

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Re: obsessive thoughts about my husband
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2014, 07:33:36 AM »
I'd say this is something for you and a therapist to work on. You have all your practical ducks in order, legally speaking, and that gives you power. You say you are happily married. You want to keep it that way.

Does any couple ever know for sure whether both are true to the marriage vows? Is he attentive to you? To your daughter? Don't ruin a good thing, but get the help you want and need.
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Offline mrsmoochie

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Re: obsessive thoughts about my husband
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2014, 05:51:20 PM »
Hey! I am very new to this site but I am very familiar with the obsessions you describe. I also obsess over these types of questions. I used to ask my boyfriend if he "actually" loved me or if he thought about anyone else. For me, a positive answer from my boyfriend would never be enough and I would always question if he was answering truthfully or if he could, theoretically, "love" me. It's the worst because it affected my relationship with my partner and made me feel anxious constantly. Recently I have been more concerned that my boyfriend is just going to break up with me.

Recently, answers have started to helped. Much like the quizing you refer to, I ask him outright "are you going to break up with me" because the answer "no" does help nip the anxiety in the bud, so to say. For me, the real answer to lessening my obsessions was starting therapy (I have realized I've had OCD since childhood!) and starting Prozac for OCD and anxiety. I wish I had more advice specific to how I began to slowly decrease these types of obsessions. I have no real advice other than that I slowly hardened myself against the obsessions I deemed to be obsessive and say to myself that it didn't matter anyway. Like I said - wish I had better advice! I am also very new to combatting these thoughts.

It might help to look at Relationship OCD...because you are not alone!
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