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Author Topic: I hate my health anxiety more than anything  (Read 167 times)

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Offline JChelJ384

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I hate my health anxiety more than anything
« on: April 21, 2014, 12:14:04 PM »
Ok so I made a dr apt today, this is huge for me because I have been afraid to go to the dr for awhile. Well technically it's with the nurse practitioner but I figure she will do a good job. I am afraid of having a complete breakdown on her. I get so nervous every time I go to the doctor, I become a complete mess and I am afraid that's all they will see, a mess. What's bothering me is a couple things. One is I have been poking the glands in my neck and now the one on the right side feels weird, I don't know how to describe it, not really painful just like I am more aware of it's presence if that makes sense. I also feel like there is a lump on the actually lymph node, sometimes I can find it other times I can't. So of course I do the thing you shouldn't do and I google, and now I am convinced I have lymphoma, and I have had also two break downs at work thinking about dying and being away from my husband and son. I hate this! Also I had a physical done a year and a half ago and everything was good then, as in all my tests came back normal, but now I am terrified to get blood work because I got myself so worked up last time waiting for the results I almost had a stroke. Sorry to be rambling but it feels kind of good to at least get all of this out of my head for a second. The second thing I want to ask her about is my costochondritis, I was diagnosised with this over a year ago from picking up my toddler, my dr knowing I worry excessively said it wasn't indicative of anything serious, but I am still having the pain, maybe because I am still picking up my son? I will say it has got some what better, but not 100% so obviously my mind has convinced me it's some type of bone cancer or metastatic breast cancer. Ok so obviously cancer is my obsessive disease of choice. I was taking lexapro for awhile and it helped so I tapered off and have been off for awhile. I started feeling my anxiety taking over again so I had my dr call in lexapro for my, only this time I have been having crazy bowels issues from it, and I know it's from the meds because when I stopped taking them the problem went away. I want to tell the nurse practiced about of this but I am afraid I won't be able to make it through without crying. Anyone else experience this?
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Offline clohessy9

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Re: I hate my health anxiety more than anything
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2014, 12:41:47 PM »
yes I hate going to the doctor. I KNOW she can tell I am totally freaking out but that's ok!  My BP tends to be slightly higher than normal. I have cried many times at dr offices and many of them understand and are very helpful....
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Offline Snowy

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Re: I hate my health anxiety more than anything
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2014, 12:52:34 PM »
Oh yea, doctors freak me out.  When I was in high school, I had to advise the nurse to get someone to hold me down just so she could give me a shot.  Don't worry about the doctors thinking you're a mess!  Tons of people are afraid of going to the doctor and I'd be willing to bet just about everyone gets nervous once they're in that room.

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One is I have been poking the glands in my neck and now the one on the right side feels weird
Poking at the same place on your body will inevitably make it sore or "feel weird", every time.  I think the awareness is probably just hyper-awareness from checking on it and thinking about it so often.  It's like you zero in on that one small point on your body and everything there becomes magnified.

As for your fear, I'd let them know.  I told the dentist when I first went, and because of this, he was gentle and took things slow, even explained what he was doing.  If I hadn't said anything, that trip could have gone much worse.

Good luck. (:
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Offline JChelJ384

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Re: I hate my health anxiety more than anything
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2014, 03:07:02 PM »
Thanks! I am glad I am not alone in my fears
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