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I just can't stop crying. I'm holding my 2 year old sobbing. My head us full of those Internet horror stories of young CC victims. I wish I could just get this all over with today but I can't. My mind is consumed with what I'm going to do once she tells me what I'm fearing. My life is so amazing and I have so much still to do. I was actually HA free for a while until the stupid pancreatic cancer fear set in which made me obsessively watch my stool and then notice the bleeding and then cc fear was in full seing. the couple minths i stopped looking at my stiol was the best months i have had in a long time. then something clicks in my head and makes me get my flash light out and inspect every stool i pass so of course ill see something that looks like blood or is blood and im a wreck again. Back to google and reading stories of bloo in stool = CC. Even though there are about 10 aides for bleeding hems being #1 and CC being #10 I can only focus on #10. I will be a wreck on that table getting the test done.