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Author Topic: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.  (Read 1275 times)

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Offline Lindsay2427

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ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« on: April 19, 2014, 12:48:35 PM »
I truly cannot put into the words the amount of fear and anxiety I have over the flex sig on Monday. I'm ABSOUTELY ill over it. My Easter weekend is ruined. Knowing that in 48 hours I could either be getting my life back and put this behind me or being completely devistated. My anxiety was very relieved by the fact my blood work was perfect. I am not anemic and all of my organs are functioning properly but that was short lived. I am just terrified this rectal bleeding is CC. What else could it possobly be?? Yes I know im 26, have had 4 children, my legs are full of vericise veins from pregnancy and genetics, I can visibly see internal hems while looking with a mirror and straining  (forgive me ) but in my mind I am thinking the worse. I don't think I can handle this test. I am making myself almost ill with anxiety. 15 months of my life have been this. I want to cancel so bad but I know I need to so this scope.
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Offline Jenniferio

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2014, 02:08:41 PM »
I had a sig  flex years ago and they found internal hemorrhoids.  It was super super easy.  Real quick - over in a blink of an eye.  You get the results right then and there.  I didn't even have a doctor do it  - but done by a nurse, instead.  I bet you will be so happy and relieved it's over!
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Offline Lindsay2427

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2014, 02:25:37 PM »
Were you bleeding??
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Offline rileybug

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2014, 02:44:37 PM »
We've talked before-you need to do it-and then move on for your kids.  It takes 5 minutes and then you'll have an answer.  Make sure to follow the prep so they can get a good lock.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2014, 03:15:48 PM »
No, you can't cancel!  B-; You're almost there, and you need to know. If you cancel the test all that will happen is that you'll go back to worrying yourself sick every single day. I know it's scary but it has to be done.

And if you haven't already, for the love of god, start taking that zoloft.

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Offline Lindsay2427

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2014, 03:49:58 PM »
I know it's a quick answer and that's what I am most terrierfied of, the answer. I have had 2 completely natural drug free births so the procedure or pain is nothing to me. It's the results i fear the most. I  can not believe I am having rectal bleeding in the first place. It's a "C" symptom. I just can't handle it.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2014, 04:06:33 PM »
Lindsay, rectal bleeding can mean MANY things. You said yourself you have hems. Many of us have had or will have blood when passing a bowel movement at some point in our lives.

You should have had this test done fifteen months ago when this all started, but as you didn't, you owe it to yourself to grit your teeth and get through it now. Then you can start your therapy and put HA out of your life.
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Offline Nk904

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2014, 04:36:52 PM »
I had intense bleeding, abnormal stools and my mom passed of colon cancer. I got a colonoscopy and was fine. Trust me, you're ok.
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Offline Lindsay2427

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2014, 05:01:57 PM »
I just can't stop crying. I'm holding my 2 year old sobbing. My head us full of those Internet horror stories of young CC victims. I wish I could just get this all over with today but I can't. My mind is consumed with what I'm going to do once she tells me what I'm fearing. My life is so amazing and I have so much still to do. I was actually HA free for a while until the stupid pancreatic cancer fear set in which made me obsessively watch my stool and then notice the bleeding and then cc fear was in full seing. the couple minths i stopped looking at my stiol was the best months i have had in a long time. then something clicks in my head and makes me get my flash light out and inspect every stool i pass so of course ill see something that looks like blood or is blood and im a wreck again. Back to google and reading stories of bloo in stool = CC. Even though there are about 10 aides for bleeding hems being #1 and CC being #10 I can only focus on #10.

I will be a wreck on that table getting the test done.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: ABSOLUTELY TERRFIED over Flex Sig Monday.
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2014, 05:18:18 PM »
I just can't stop crying. I'm holding my 2 year old sobbing. My head us full of those Internet horror stories of young CC victims. I wish I could just get this all over with today but I can't. My mind is consumed with what I'm going to do once she tells me what I'm fearing. My life is so amazing and I have so much still to do. I was actually HA free for a while until the stupid pancreatic cancer fear set in which made me obsessively watch my stool and then notice the bleeding and then cc fear was in full seing. the couple minths i stopped looking at my stiol was the best months i have had in a long time. then something clicks in my head and makes me get my flash light out and inspect every stool i pass so of course ill see something that looks like blood or is blood and im a wreck again. Back to google and reading stories of bloo in stool = CC. Even though there are about 10 aides for bleeding hems being #1 and CC being #10 I can only focus on #10.

I will be a wreck on that table getting the test done.

Lindsay please don't let your children see you like this. It's not fair on them, especially when they're too young to understand. This is your burden alone.

And for the love of christ, STOP GOOGLING. STOP. NOW. Because it will fill your head with stories that your anxiety-addled brain will use as 'proof' that you have CC. You get upset about something, your brain searches for proof that it is worth worrying about, and you feed it 'evidence' by googling, which increases your worry. You are just winding yourself up further and further. Of COURSE CC is the first thing that comes up when you google 'blood in stools' - the most serious thing is always the first thing to come up. This is why we say don't google. That's why it's the golden rule. People on this site are trying to help you - "stop googling, take your zoloft, trust your doctor" - and you keep ignoring it. If you listened you might find yourself calming down.

Do yourself a favour. Stop freaking out in front of your kids, turn your computer off and go do something, anything else. And once again, I say, take the zoloft the doctor gave you. He/she gave it to you for a reason.
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