My name is Aaron. I am 29 years old and currently a college student, finally pursuing an undergraduate degree. I am married and have recently become a father (my son is 17 months old). I've been a "worrier" for as long as I can remember. I was a sad and anxious child. As I grew up, anxiety started to manifest itself in different ways. I actually had some ocd issues (one being an eating disorder). I started drinking when I was 20, and alcohol had become a tool to fix my anxiety (particularly my social anxiety)...However, as we all know, the alcohol took hold in my life and became a terrible presence - caused me lot of pain.
The anxiety started happening after benders. I was playing in a band, living with the bandmates. There would be times when I would spend three days (it would always just last three for some reason) that I would stay perpetually drunk. By the end of the bender, I would feel very anxious. I realize now that was a sort of withdrawal.
Then, later, the panic attacks started. Most. Terrible. Feeling. Ever. Lord have mercy!
I still have these panic attacks. They come in waves. Some days are better than others. Certain days I'll feel fine all day long (like today!). Other days, I will be in a constant urge to go to the ER.
I love life. It is so amazing that we were given this beautiful and strange opportunity to exist and have consciousness.
...I just wish that these feelings of panic would subside and never return.
I am looking for peace - perhaps someone to give me pragmatic, comforting words of knowledge and advice.
In turn, I would like to help others - so they might know that they are not alone in feeling this way - that it will be ok, and that although the anxiety and panic may be crippling...it is NOT the end of the world...we WILL persevere!