I can honestly I have been there before. It's a hard road,The thing that I've come to realize is that like previous posts, WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS. You don't need to worry, this is a disorder that causes your worst fears to be magnified. Think about it, if that was not a fear of good would it bother you so much? No it wouldn't, it'd just be a passing thought. So as a Christian myself I can tell you that it hurts when you feel like you're somehow betraying God, but just know that he LOVES you, you, with your fears, with your insecurities, with your troubling thoughts!!. He created you , knows you inside and out. He knows, just pray and tell him to aid you, to ease your fears, to calm your troubled mind. He says in his word "come into me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" matt 11:28... take comfort in that :-) You cannot sell what was never yours ..