Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Member Articles    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: OCD I think?  (Read 266 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Goose14

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 10
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
OCD I think?
« on: April 17, 2014, 08:28:10 PM »
Hey everyone. Iím having a lot of troubles figuring out what exactly is going on.  For years Iíve been having messed up inappropriate thoughts. Today Iíve even looked back to when I was a child, the messed up stuff I would do like pretending I was going to kill my sister because I thought it was funny, which now makes me feel horrible.  I am constantly having violent thoughts of self harm or inappropriate sexual urges, or just messed up thoughts.  Iíve been telling myself for years they are just intrusive thoughts, some people get them but itís getting really bad. I am flunking out of college, I just lost my girlfriend of 2 years, and now I am just really lost, and scared. To make matters worse, I saw on the news some normal seeming kid just stabbed 5 young nice people at a party, and this leads me to ask, what if I just lost it and did something horrible. I mean I already look at knifes as weapons, and have images in my head similar to a criminal minds episode, and constantly think of things that could harm myself or others. A few months before me and my girl broke up, I had a lot to drink at the bar, and she said on the way home I was acting ďschizophrenicĒ or crazy, and rambling on about the government, or how she was going to get raped. It scared her so much she left in the middle of the night in tears. Iím not the most secure person I should add, I mean I get along with almost everyone, but when I feel like I say something stupid, I will EASILY feel awful and beat up on myself for acting like an idiot and what not. I have also noticed smoking pot intensifies the thoughts, I am generally able to calm myself down to avoid having panic attacks, but its like thereís something going on inside me where messed up thoughts are taking over. Iím scared I wonít get it together and Iíll do something to hurt someone, or myself.  I just want to feel in control, and understand what is happening. I donít want to worry about the state of my mental health every day, and worry about if I have one to many drinks Iíll go crazy. I know many people would advise against pot as well, but I enjoyed smoking pot once in a while until these feelings of anxiety kicked in. Other quick notes: I live alone in a city, and am certainly more prone to these feelings when I am not around friends. In a social setting, I usually feel more comfortable, and have less messed up thoughts. Not sure if that has to do with anything but yeah, any thoughts are seriously appreciated SO much! Thanks for reading, sorry for the length.
Bookmark and Share

Offline gtripoli

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 30
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Male
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: OCD I think?
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2014, 08:57:04 PM »
Sorry no one ever responded to your post.

Have been to see a mental health professional? I would definitely recommend seeing a professional that specializes in OCD so they can tell you for sure if what you are experiencing is in fact OCD.

IMO it's very possible that you might have OCD based on what you mentioned. There are quite a few people on these boards that suffer from harm related OCD symptoms, including myself.
Bookmark and Share

Offline bluerose

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 182
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 5
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Indescribable
    Indescribable
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: OCD I think?
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2014, 01:25:52 AM »
It sounds like you may well have OCD, but I would encourage you to get in to see a mental health professional as soon as possible.  As for the drinking and smoking pot I really think you should avoid both at least at this point in time where you feel so unstable.  Drinking can cause people to do things they never would normally do when sober.  As for pot, I smoked it several times in high school and at first it was fun, but then for some reason it "turned" on me.  It made my anxiety and OCD so much worse when I was high.  It was really scary.  So scary that I haven't dared smoke it in over 30 years.
Bookmark and Share
You wanted justice, but there was none, only love.

Offline bravo nine

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • Country: ca
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: OCD I think?
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2014, 04:45:09 AM »
Hey Goose, I do think that talking about it (even on a forum) is a step in the right direction. From my experience, obsessions come in a variety of forms and as many different thoughts and it does sound like you are experiencing it. I think that the fact that you're realizing that the thoughts are strange is good - you're obviously preoccupied by them and worried as they seem like they are out-of-character for you but I don't think you'll carry them out. I say that because that's what OBSESSIONS are... they're thoughts that cause you grief and are usually irrational. I do think you should talk to a therapist because without addressing it, they'll just keep coming and you don't have the tools (yet) for dealing with them. The therapist will give you those tools.
As for the pot thing, in my experience I've found that every time I smoked it, it increased my anxiety tenfold! I kept doing it in the hopes that it would do the opposite effect and reduce my anxiety but it never did.
Bookmark and Share
The only way out is through

Offline Hormonal

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: OCD I think?
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2014, 08:37:32 PM »
Hi goose 14,

I just want you to know that you are very courageous for writting here.  I have done so today as I think myself of being OCD with these intrusive thoughts just like the ones you are having.  I know exactly how you feel and how scary it can be.  The brain is a powerful thing.  Reading posts here is very reassuring and I think that getting tools to help with these thoughts would be great.  I plan on doing so, either a good book with good explanation or a self help or maybe going to see my shrink or making contact here and with good friends that I can trust with anything.  I opened up a bit with my hubby tonight but I so not want to scare anyone, you understand!  It's a good thing for internet and websites like these.  But don't stop going to work and doing your activities even if the energy is not there, because these will keep you in the present.

Bookmark and Share

Tags: