Hi everyone. I've been a member of the boards for a few days, just lurking and reading and responding to posts here and there. I don't suffer from HA very often, only when I have serious symptoms that I can't explain away. I tend to not visit my doctor very often, trusting that most problems are transient. I've been through a few things in the last two years (five dental extractions, gallbladder surgery) and as a result, my HA has ramped up.
On April 6, I woke up with the entire right side of my body tingling. I had normal strength and motor function, it was just sensory, that pins and needles feeling on the chin, arm, shoulder, trunk and entire leg and foot. I didn't freak out too much because I had no other symptoms and thought it would just go away on its own. I told myself that if it was still happening on Monday, I'd call my GP. I woke up Monday feeling no better so I made an appointment for that Thursday. We talked, he did a neuro exam, ordered a crap-load of blood tests (8 vials) and asked me to get a head CT. That's happening tomorrow. He leveled with me and explained that if the tingling was on both sides he wouldn't worry, and if the tingling was limited to just the arm or just the leg he wouldn't worry, but because it is one-sided and affects both limbs, he wants to take a close look at my brain. He did give me a hug at the end of the visit and said, "In two weeks you are going to feel so much better when all of your tests come back clean. You're a very healthy person."
I am still scared to death, imagining the very worst. I made the horrible mistake of googling and even ended up sobbing over some brain tumor blogs. Stupid, stuipd, stupid. I'm 100% certain that I have a brain tumor and I'm going to suffer horribly and die and leave my 12-year-son and husband of 24 years to mourn me. I've been using black humor to try to cope. I took my son to the park yesterday to enjoy the pretty weather and I told my husband later that I'd really like one of those memorial park benches after I die in a few months. He laughed but had no idea I was halfway serious. I am much more terrified than I am letting on to everyone.
I've tried rational thinking, relaxation techniques, trying to distract myself but it just feels like my days are numbered. The numbness has improved since then but hasn't gone completely...it's patchy rather than affecting the entire limb. Maybe I'm just hypersensitive to those sensations now, I'm not sure. Or maybe the MS they haven't diagnosed yet is improving. Yep, I've moved on in my head to MS now instead of a brain tumor. I haven't heard from my doctor since the office visit. I'm sure he has blood test results back but would probably like to look at everything as a whole so I don't expect to hear from him until after the results of my CT are in.
Problem is today, I'm so scared of actually getting the CT, I'm not sure I can go through with it. My face is numb, I'm dizzy and can't eat and just feel wretched. My rational mind knows it isn't a progression of symptoms, it's just anxiety, but I still feel terrible. I'm not even sure I need any advice, I just needed to get this out. Thanks to anyone who read my half-coherent ramblings.