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Hell, I'm 25. Five years to thirty, one fourth done with my life. I haven't accomplished anything, and I feel like I was born into the wrong world.
On another level, her behaviour - pushing people away - may be motivated by guilt over how she has treated her hubby, and his recent ill health. If she was with him for so long then she must love him, or at least continue to hold feelings for him... its very rare for people to cleanly cut their emotions for someone. On some level, I believe guilt is also afflicting her. And when guilt strikes, we can react in one of two ways; one, we try to atone for it, or we attempt to push the person away from us in an attempt to free ourselves of the heavy guilt burden.
2) You have a right to feel devastated after your boyfriend came out as gay. For 4 years you shared your life with him as a romantic partner. Thatís a long enough time to mourn the love of their love deeply. After 4 years it must have felt to you that this relationship had the prospect of a real future. I wasnít with my ex partner for 4 years and I can tell you, it still hurt me. Itís a great pity your ex took 4 years of your life to decide he was gay. Thatís 4 years of your life you gave him. It must be upsetting for you. Even if you were angry and bitter (which I know you arenít, because you say youíre stillfriends) I would understand completely. I mean, its great heís came out and is moving on with his life happilyÖ but what about you? What about how you are feeling? This is just as much about you as it is about him.
What about the person you are? I believe our self worth comes from WHO we are, not WHAT we are or what we have to our name.
I enjoy simple pleasures, really... (others would say 'boring' but, ah, that's all a matter of opinion, heh) such as reading, walks in the countryside, nature, animals (particularly cats and birds)
The key to improvement is to take things in small steps; rather than daunting yourself by the totality, just make little steps one at a time.
I've also started taking up hobbies i ditched for the last few years as i resigned myself to a pit of darkness, such as reading, coin collecting, etc. Encouraging yourself to pick up old interests, or find new ones, definitely helps. It sounds like youíre already well down that road.
I'm sure she MUST feel guilty over it, but her attitude toward him has taken quite a turn. Now she claims that she regretted marrying him from the start and never really loved him. There were tons of small things over the years that showed me they must be a strong couple, so I don't really believe her in saying this. I think she's trying to make it easier for herself or to make us believe he's always been a rotten person. Who knows. She never mentioned them being in a bad place before. They fought like everyone else but nothing horrible.
See, I think it's great that you take care of a relative like that. Respectable. I agree with you, I'd rather look at myself at the end of the day and say my family knew I loved them and I stuck to my morals and did what I could.
Nah, not boring- sounds like me, actually. Nothing like the smell of a good book. I actually live in the countryside, and this time of year, flowers start blooming and the whole valley smells like honeysuckle. It's one of the most wonderful things. I love being outside too! :D
This is exactly what I did yesterday! My niece had a school play, which I've never been to because sitting with all those strangers and kids freaks me out. I went anyway and it went fine. I don't know what exactly I expected. Maybe taking a big tumble down the bleachers as everyone pointed and laughed? It felt good to do something new and scary but also small.
I love coin collecting! I go to this rock/gem show every year and they had ancient Roman coins for sale. I had to have one, of course, really neat!
I just started sewing to make little stuffed animals, though. I've made three so far and though my mom thinks sewing is tedious and boring, I actually love it.
I'd like to get back into writing, though. It used to be my major outlet and I really miss it but it seems my concentration for it drifts now, which makes me feel even worse.
Thanks so much for replying. Reading all that put a genuine smile on my face, which has been rare lately. You've reminded me of the things I've somehow forgotten, so thank you.
I agree; somewhere in there guilt must reside. It sounds to me like your sister is TRYING to convince herself that she never really loved him, regrets marrying him. She's trying to soothe her conscience by the sounds of it.She just doesn't sound happy in life right now... she sounds lost. Its very sad. She's probably judging her current self by her own high moral standard; there may be an element of self-loathing that's inspiring her behaviour. She may not like herself very much.
The smell of books you say? Tell me, am I the only one who likes the smell of a brand new book who's pages are laminated?
I've never seen a Roman coin before. I'd have nabbed myself one too if I'd been there! The oldest coin I've ever seen was medieval. Actually, I have a thing for silver coins... not gold. Silver. Silver is a metal I like. I've got quite a few silver coins (most of them not that old though).
My mother used to sew small animals and stuff, then give them to me and my sibling. They're maybe not much, but never underestimate the sentimental value they can acquire. Something that's made by someone we care about means so much more than something that's simply been made by others and then purchased. Tell me, have you made any sea creatures yet?
This is such a common side effect of anxiety. We find it hard to concentrate, to settle down. For instance, I know many people here struggle to sit down and read books like they used to - me included. Anxiety is such a mentally draining, preoccupying thing. The best thing you can maybe do is begin writing again in short bursts, whenever the urge grabs you. Some people I know carry a notebook around and jot down ideas, even when they're supposed to be at work! The more you take the hobby up again, the more you'll find yourself wanting to indulge in it.
It's mostly her lashing out that I can't stand. She blames my mother for everything and calls up just to yell and curse at her, even though my mom has done everything she can to help her. It's so hard to see my parents suffering like this, thinking THEY did something wrong in how they raised her.
I don't actually think I've ever seen a laminated book!
I don't have any silver ones yet. I'm mostly interested in foreign money. I've come across some Jamaican, some from Great Britain, Canada, etc. My favorite is an Asian one, because it's the only one I've found from there.
Mine made animals for me too! They were bunnies. (:I have not made sea creatures yet but I found the cutest pattern for a seahorse that I'd love to try. I've made an owl, a frog (for my niece), a bunny, and oddly- a Tardis pillow.
I take a notebook in the car everywhere. If I can't concentrate enough for a plot, I work on the characters instead. The other day I actually got a whole page down because I was in the car and distracted from my physical symptoms. It was a scene with my Scottie actually! I know those characters so well, thankfully, because it's relatively easy to get back into their world.
That sounds like classic transference; attempting to shift the guilt stemming from her own sins by transferring it all to your mother. Your sister is an adult - its time she faced up to her own mistakes. Only then can she begin to heal and move forward.
I have Canadian coins, some US ones, French, German, but mostly British. Saying that, 'British' currency disguises the fact that Scotland and England continue to print their own bank notes. In England, the Bank of England is the sole producer: whereas in Scotland, 3 banks have the right to print bank notes - the Clydesdale Bank, the Bank of Scotland, and the Royal Bank of Scotland. We're the only country left in the world where more than one bank has the right to issue legal tender. Some people like to collect Scottish currency because of the differences. Actually, I've sent Scottish money to friends across the Atlantic in the past for them to keep as a curio!
Funny you should mention the seahorse... in the Celtic animal zodiac, the seahorse is my sign. Most men want to be the wolf; when I found out I was a seahorse my reaction was "oh cool, well I'm well pleased!" Seahorses are lovely animals.
A Tardis? Out of curiosity, who is your favourite Dr Who of all time?
If there's a Scottie in your plot, he's gotta enjoy Scotch whisky and deep fried fatty foods, haha! All of us Scottie's love our fatty foods! Have you worked out what tartan he wears yet?
I used to have this odd little dream of having one for a pet, so I like them pretty well. I wonder what my sign is. February birthday, do you know?
I have to admit I haven't watched them all yet. I've got a big feeling Capaldi will be my favorite. I love his work in other things! I really liked both 9 and 10, too.
In outer space, he doesn't wear one!
Its such a pity that your sister lost her hubby only to replace him with the character you describe. He's probably working to convince her that her mother is the source of all her problems in life and she's better off without you all. My own father was never in jail but he played mind games to try and detach my mother from her family. It really is a control thing.
Isn't it amazing to wonder who briefly possessed your Roman coin? Who held it, who carried it, what it was used to buy and sell all those centuries ago? Whenever I get an old coin I wonder what owners its had before me. Yugoslavia no longer exists so you'll never see a new one of that coin anytime soon! I have quite a few old Soviet Union coins with Lenin and the Aurora on them (with the obligatory Hammer and Sickle on the reverse). One is a set commemorating 50 years of the 1917 Revolution which I got online for cheap years ago.
Apparently you're either a cat or a snake! Out of curiosity, do you keep any pets? I've got a cat but he's more of a myth really... he spends most of his life dozing the day away then gets moody when you wake him up.
I've seen the Doctor Who episodes from the 70's (in fact I'm probably more acquainted with them than the later ones). I remember after Capaldi was selected that a lot of younger viewers complained he was too old and they may not watch him as the Dr. Which is pretty low, as it shouldn't matter how old the guy is. To be so fixated on youth ignores talent and ability.
Ah well done, you outwitted me there Snowy. Surely tartan survives into the future - it can never go out of fashion! There's everything today from tartan themed trousers to waistcoats to neck ties... maybe we'll see it make the transition to futuristic lycra bodysuits by the 25th century!