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Offline misssunnyshine

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Hello Everyone :)
« on: April 15, 2014, 05:26:03 PM »
Hi All,

Just introducing myself as recommended!

Well I have always been a worrier but I used to worry about big events in life and some how I always managed to struggle through but in the last few years all that has changed.
I have gradually been worrying more and more about things that would have barely bothered me previously and find that my physical anxiety symptoms really knock me off my feet. I feel in a constant state of anxiety and everything seems overwhelming. I see the good things in life and when talking to others I am always positive about their situations but I just can't do the same for myself no matter how stupid I know my worrying seems.
For so long I have tried to keep my feelings secret to everyone, fearing they would think I was weak or pathetic or crazy! But in the last few weeks I have had to come clean! My job situation is stressful at the best of times (I work in finance) but now I my role has changed somewhat and it feels so overwhelming and difficult and I am terrified that I just can't hack it and I never will, also my boss is tough and very cold, the idea of worrying to them is just a weakness that should be overcome.
So I finally cracked, it started off as me feeling too ill to go to work and for the first couple of days I tried to tell myself that it was just a stomach bug but I soon realised I was just so scared of work it was making me physically ill. I had to tell my family and pretty much cried the whole day, I hadn't cried for a long time, just panicked, so in a way it was nice to let it out a bit.
My family felt sad they hadn't known what was going on and tried to console me with some of their tales. I then went to the doctor and had a long talk about how I was feeling and how it was making me ill, the doctor signed me off work for a few weeks and during this time I have been frantically applying for jobs as the thought of facing everyone at work now they know seems unbearable to me! I have been to a couple of interviews and felt like I was going to have a heart attack in the beginning but after the first few questions my nerves steadied somewhat and they didn't go as terribly as I'd imagined. The problem is, I know that these jobs won't be any better than where I am now and I am just trying to run away from my current situation, I feel like until I can see that something has changed practically I don't know how I will be able to change in myself.
This brings me to today, I have some days left before I have to go and face the music at work and I am trying my best to make the most of the time I have. I am keeping an eye out for jobs I actually want now instead of a desperation to leave my current work and I am trying to work on the bad habits that make me feel anxious and out of control. It is very hard, I feel like sometimes I am panicking just because it feels like the norm for me now! And I am trying to block out the thoughts of my first day back at work, I can't imagine how I will be getting any sleep the weekend before.

So thanks for reading my story! Hopefully we'll be able to share more experiences and help each other in the future :)

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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Hello Everyone :)
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2014, 06:00:45 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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