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Author Topic: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!  (Read 476 times)

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Online Lindsay2427

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I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« on: April 14, 2014, 09:12:12 AM »
I don't think I can go through with this test. I think I'm going to have to cancel and work with a therapist first. I think I need medication for the appointment. My anxiety sky rocketed when the appt was made last week. I have done better with my occasional CC anxiety attacks. I had a completely normal BM this morning. Although I had an anxiety attack while going the end result relaxed me a bit. I plan on inspecting my stool until Thursday. If all is normal I am going to cancel for next Monday. I am going back and forth with doing this. Part of me wants to hear her say you are completely fine. How much better would I feel hearing that! That would change my life. Then I fear the absolute worst. To hear her give me bad news. To know I am 26 and hearing that news. I couldn't handle it. I absolutely will not allow my self to even think she will give me good news. That's completely jinxing the situation. I 110% fully expect bad news from this test which is why I think I need therapy first. So as of now this is my plan.
I also think I'm going to a local clinic for a quick CBC. I can't bring myself to have a psyical with my gp but maybe seeing blood work come in the mail will be easier.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2014, 09:17:30 AM »
Well, look at it this way, if you were getting this done due to a ridge in the BM and now it's not there, it can't POSSIBLY be a tumor, they don't grow and shrink arbitrarily.   However a hemorrhoid will grow and shrink.
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Online Lindsay2427

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 09:27:21 AM »
Well this BM was harder than the one with the groove. It was my normal almost constipated wider harder BM so I'm not sure it could be indented like the softer BM but thankfully it wasn't the thin flatter small stool I had on Saturday. That sent me over the edge. Hemorrhoids are still there. I'm now terrified its the " t word" and not hems. I can't even say it in fear if jinx.
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Online Lindsay2427

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 09:31:26 AM »
And I was mainly having it done for occasional bright red small blood streak on stools. Very random and usually only one small line on the last stool to pass when I do have it. Have noticed it about 8-10 times over a 15 month period. Nothing has ever gotten worse, no abdominal pain, no change in bowel habits, nothing has ever progressed and I certainly have hems from 4 pregnancies and deliveries but I have googled to
Much.
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Online rileybug

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 10:20:35 AM »
Keep the app-have your doc call in some zantex to calm down.  You'll feel better after you get an answer.
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Offline themegahypo

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2014, 10:25:15 AM »
I normally don't take tests, because when I get good news, I think I'm just the one guy that got a wrong diagnosis.
But once i do schedule a test, I make sure to go through with it. I think you should do the same! Best of luck!
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Online Lindsay2427

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2014, 10:42:46 AM »
I just don't think I can go through with this. I really don't.
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Online rileybug

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2014, 10:55:09 AM »
You need to do this.  You have 4 little ones that deserve the best mom you can be.not panicked and scared all the time.  Do it for your kids-and put the fear to rest.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2014, 11:12:03 AM »
tumors GROW, if it has stayed the SAME for 15 months I don't see how it could be anything there.  But those flex sigs you can see what's going on right then and there with the monitor as the doc explains it, it's not like you go home and have to wait and wait for a phone call.


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Offline Jess0617

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2014, 11:37:32 AM »
Just do it!!! You will feel SO much better knowing you are okay and that it is nothing major other than hems. You need to think about how unhealthy it is for you to be feeling this way. I've gotten so many tests done that doctors have thought I needed for my brain and heart and uterus and everything has turned out completely normal other than having a abnormal shaped uterus. You are going to be FINE and you will feel so much relief. I don't think it's a tumor, and I'm 20. Doctor told me it's EXTREMELY rare for anyone in their 20s to develop any sort of cancer of the colon/rectum when I went in for constipation and a little red blood on the toilet paper. I say get the test done, and consider therapy after when you know you are okay so that none of these thoughts happen again. You are healthy and have a LONG life ahead of you. Enjoy it, get the test done, and once you know you're fine try to get these silly thoughts out of your head.
Also, my stool has looked like the picture you posted. It looked absolutely normal. :)
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Offline Brick5711

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2014, 12:24:15 PM »
This is going to seem harsh. But you would be stupid to cancel the appointment. You worry yourself sick and cant even enjoy your family. That's not fair to them. Get it over and done with.
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Online ShawnW

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2014, 12:32:35 PM »
That's why you get a full colonoscopy with sedation.  You won't care what they do to you with versed on board.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline snowberry

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2014, 12:49:32 PM »
You need to go through with it - do it for the kids, if not for yourself. I absolutely am behind getting therapy ASAP, but I don't think you should cancel your appointment. Answer me this: Do you honestly think you would be able to concentrate on therapy the way you are now? It seems to me your anxiety has done nothing but escalate these past few days.

I know it's terrifying for people with HA to get tests done, but you have to do it. Based on the info you have posted on here, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body but I think you need a doctor to tell you that before you can regain a sense of normality.
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Offline vardnas

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2014, 01:24:39 PM »
Part of me wants to hear her say you are completely fine. How much better would I feel hearing that! That would change my life.

Lindsay, I'm going to disagree with the rest of the posters here and argue that canceling your test is INDEED the right thing to do.

Listen. This is the nature of health anxiety. We believe, that because we experience PHYSICAL symptoms, that we need PHYSICAL tests and confirmation of PHYSICAL well-being in order to feel less anxious. However, this is categorically untrue. You could very well feel a sense of relief when the doctor tells you you're all clear, but two things will inevitably happen (as is the case with every HA sufferer ever). You'll either continue to have wonky BMs and start to fear that they "missed something." Or, if this test does quell your colon cancer fears, then I almost guarantee that you'll being to fear some other disease.

Medical testing or any other kind of reassurance is never the key to getting over HA. It never has been and never will be. HA is a mental disorder and therefore needs proper mental health care. Your instinct to seek out therapy and possible medication are correct. Those are slower, more holistic options, but they're REAL solutions to your problem of HA. Seeking out that kind of treatment will provide MORE of a guarantee that your family will have the present mother and wife they need.

You're 26. Your chances of having anything remotely sinister in your bowels is slim to none. Perhaps refraining from this test seems like a bad idea, and yes you'll still have cancer fears, but choosing to address and deal with the root causes of your anxiety will take you SO MUCH further down the road to real healing than any scope up your rear end ever will. I promise you that.
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In case anyone is still confused:  googling your symptoms will cause you to remain in a state of extreme anxiety. Stepping away from the internet is the first step toward lasting peace.

Offline snowberry

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Re: I think I'm canceling my flex sigmidoscope!
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2014, 01:39:39 PM »
Do you really think she can concentrate on therapy the way she is right now? I agree that constantly seeking reassurance from tests is not good, but in a case where someone is making themselves sick from the stress, I think it's better they get the all clear and THEN, in the calm immediately following the all clear, they seek the therapy they need to control their fears in future so they don't have to seek testing again. She's way too far gone right now.
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