Welcome to the forum . . . you have had a series of major events in a compressed amount of time . . . sometimes we do not feel anxious but our mind is and it communicates this with the body and a whole myriad of symptoms . . . .
I will suggest a couple of things for you to consider . . . .just to think about . . . first, we sometimes hear of post partum depression but there is also post partum anxiety . . . caring for a new baby while caring for yourself may make a new Mom anxious . . . then, buying a house, although it is a joyful event as is having a child, is also a potential area for being anxious . . . and, of course, the impact of hearing of a loved one, especially one's Mom with cancer . . . well, it all adds up . . . the fact that you are not sleeping, well, that only makes anxiety that much more intense and I think you are developing some health anxiety . . .probably because of your concern over your Mom and perhaps you are wondering what would happen to your baby should anything happen to you . . . all very natural thoughts but when they start to overwhelm and convert into anxiety, then it does become a problem . . .
Many years ago, I took Ativan because of a thyroid issue . . . I think I took it a total of 3 or 4 times . . . I found 1 mg too much for me also so I cut it down to .5 and it was sufficient . . .that is an option you might consider . . .
That you are having aches and pains is not usual for most people with anxiety . . . anxiety tenses and fatigues the muscles, causes nerves to misbehave, etc. Now, I would definitely recommend that you stay away from Google --- it can create more anxiety and issues than it relieves . . . . so, my advice . . .
1. see a doc for a medical and explain what is happening and get checked over;
2. ask for a referral to a counselor (not necessarily a psychiatrist) who specializes in anxiety and who can help guide you to identify and manage your triggers;
3. do it sooner than later because the sooner you deal with the anxiety, the better it will be for you mind, body, and spirit;
4. if you take the Ativan, consider .5 and see if that helps;
5. know that your symptoms can very well be anxiety and that is why professional help is indicated;
6. you are not going bonkers . . . you are under stress whether you realize it or not . . . your mind is speaking through your body and you need to get a support system in place until you get your management strategies going
7. and remember, this type recovery is a process and there really isn't a quick fix but you can do it . . . .right now, it's an issue of developing coping tools
I'm not a med professional so I cannot give advice of that type . . . but I can strongly suggest that the best steps you can take is to start the recovery process and, please, by all means come back to this forum . . .we are very welcoming here and if there is anything we can do, rest assured that we will do our best to be your support . . . let us know how you are doing and know that you are far from bonkers . . . take care, kc