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Author Topic: Anxiety over Finding Needles  (Read 100 times)

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Offline Anxious Dude

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Anxiety over Finding Needles
« on: April 10, 2014, 05:01:24 PM »
I needed to rant and came here...

Anyway, I've had a longtime phobia of finding needles/syringes out in the wild. Mostly that I would unintentionally get stuck by them. It plays into my fears of getting HIV/Hep by accident. Combine that with my anxiety/OCD, I'm just a ball of nerves all the time.

So my latest flare up was two weeks ago. I work in a public building and was talking to some of my coworkers on the office/staff side. One of our security guards came in with a syringe that he had found in the public restroom and asked to talk to a supervisor. Just seeing a needle that was found in the bathroom was enough to get me going. I excused myself, went outside and heaved in a bush.

I wasn't near or touched anything by it, but the site of the guard carrying the needle (which looked like it was in a ziplock bac) was just enough to trigger my OCD. What if the guard stabbed me with it? What if i stabbed myself with it? I know its ridiculous, as there was literally no risk to me. It was just extra difficult since needles, blood and HIV are some of my obsessions/fears.

So for almost two weeks now, I've been a hot anxious mess worrying and being anxious about something that i made up in my mind. Sometimes I hate my life.

The most important thing was to remind myself this: I WASN'T STUCK WITH A NEEDLE. And because of that, I have been wasting lots of time and effort worrying about things that I know aren't real. It's just the intrusive thoughts that have been hurting me.

I went to both my psychiatrist and psychologist. The psychiatrist adjusted my medicine, because it wasn't working as effectively as it cold be. And I talked it over with my psychologist. Both reminded me that this is just my OCD coming through and that it sucks, but I'm going to have to deal with intrusive thoughts. sometimes they will be in control of them; sometimes they are going to be out of control.

And its funny/not-funny. I went tot he pharmacy to get my meds, what did I see in the parking lot? A used syrringe.  :traurig001:
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Offline Walnut

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Re: Anxiety over Finding Needles
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2014, 12:40:41 PM »
So sorry you are having to deal with this type of anxiety/OCD. I have lived with it for many years. Even though I have not had your specific fear I can definitely understand and relate to it in a way. One thing I wanted to share with  you is the following from what you posted:
 " WHAT IF the guard stabbed me with it? WHAT IF i stabbed myself with it? I know its ridiculous, as there was literally no risk to me."

Anything that starts with "what if" is usually catastrophic thinking for us. If you have a what if thought stop and try to think about it logically. What are the chances I will actually get pricked by one of these needles? The syringe is just an object and cant do anything to me on its own. Whats the chances the guard would risk his freedom to poke me with a used syringe? I feel like such a hypocrite telling you this because I am just like you. I can see that the thought is irrational but still react to it. That I think is the problem. Its our emotional reaction to the thought that keeps the cycle going.
Maybe you could look at it like. I know im not going to get poked by a dirty syringe bc its just an object. The only way I could see you getting pricked by one is if you were digging in the garbage can which you and I would never do b/c of our OCD lol. One laying around couldnt hurt you, just the thought thats bothering you. Have you ever read any books on OCD? The last big flare up of OCD that I had I was able to overcome by what I learned in the book brainlock by dr jeffrey schwartz.. This time around I havent been so fortunate b/c its mostly intrusive thoughts.  I wish I could in some way offer some good advice to help you overcome this but I feel all I can offer is the fact that I share the same burden as you. I hope you get some relief soon.
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I am horrible about forgetting which threads I have replied to. If you dont get a reply back from me feel free to message me.

My screen name used to be "Nutty" Ive been a member since 2008. I forgot what email I used back then so I cant login to my old name.

Tags: OCD anxiety 
 

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