Yes he is capable of love. But he's still an angry person. A few days ago we were talking about his anger and I remembered this:
last summer he had a few beers, was cooking on the grill, came inside to check something on tv-score or something. Our dd went into the living room to be with him, was playing. Something happened, I am not sure what but he said to her " don't talk to me..." and left to go back outside. This is how he treats ppl when he gets mad.
Turns out I found her sitting on her bed trying not to cry, she was so upset, she was 6 years old. Said Daddy was so upset with her that he told her not to talk to him. I went outside to talk with him At 1st he says what?? like he didn't remember or it didn't happen. Then he said she was jumping on the couch or something & he said to stop & she didn't. She's a great girl, but most kids don't do what you ask the 1st time you ask-at that age and energy level, in the moment. And even so-this behavior from an adult is abuse in my mind.
This stings me to this day to think about it. To see her trying not to cry at that age. Because of her father. Anyway on 2 different occasions I've talked with him about this & each time he says something different. She jumped on him & it hurt...she jumped off the couch and it annoyed him..whatever the case this behavior-his behavior is not ok. I do not forgive him because of how much it hurt her. This is the kind of stuff I'm afraid of happening when we divorce. And I will not be there to tell him how wrong childish and hurtful he is to his child. Keep in mind this is not the norm, this is not something he does regularly. But he shold never do it. what if....what if he does it again & I am not there to comfort her? Do I stay because of that? And in staying-show her that Daddy's selfishness must be ok because Mommy puts up with it. That men can treat women this way-it must be ok.
Do you see what I'm saying?
He may very well be jealous of my love for her. That doesn't change my love for her. His actions have taken away my love for him/ For a mother to see her husband treat their child cruelly -will take away her love. I have no love left for him because the years of how hes treated me chipped away so much. And then came the final straws-seeing him be so mean & selfish & cruel in front of her, that took care of what little was left.
So....do you get a picture of what I'm talking about? Yes he plays with her can be sweet & loving, but on occasion will do something so terrible-I call it abuse because a child has no way of coping with that kind of thing.