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Author Topic: Not myself anymore  (Read 266 times)

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Offline shellofabody

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Not myself anymore
« on: April 06, 2014, 01:09:24 PM »
I've started to feel like I'm not even myself anymore. I feel like I'm having memory problems. I've looked up symptoms of Alzheimer's, etc but I'm only 18. I just have no idea what's wrong with me. It's like life's a dream and I can't wake myself up. I test myself on my memory all the time and sometimes things that happened yesterday feel like they were last week. I'm really worried there's something actually wrong. Please help, if anyone has felt this before then id like to know I'm not alone. Thank you.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2014, 01:47:06 PM »
Hi, sorry you're going thru a hard time.  I think many of us who've dealt with anxiety or depression can totally relate to not feeling like ourselves anymore.  The brain is a tricky thing.  I would recommend talking with people you trust about how you're feeling.  Maybe see a counselor or doc.  Therapy and meds can do a lot.

You are not alone.  You can feel like yourself again.  You can return.  Don't stop fighting for your happiness because you deserve it.  We all do.  But many people give up and settle.  I had dealt with generalized anxiety during the winter but I can feel myself coming back.  Through many paths and the right meds and therapies.  I'm coming back.
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Offline shellofabody

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2014, 04:28:31 PM »
Thanks, I'm really glad I'm not alone.
It's such a complex feeling to describe. I just for some reason feel as though my life isn't mine. Remembering things is like remembering dreams. My room is unfamiliar. It's a nightmare. Doesn anyone feel it to this extent?
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Offline Adam718

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2014, 08:03:21 PM »
What you're feeling is called Derealization, and I know how scary it can be. You should rest assured that this is not permanent. When we're anxious, tense or under stress, this cloudy feeling creeps into our perception. This is something that's going to go away with some time - Just be sure to stop fighting it and stop fearing it. Live with it as if it's part of you, and then it starts to dissolve and you'll feel like you again. Be sure to go about your daily life as if nothing is wrong.

Like I said, this is very common. I've had it, and most of the people on this forum has gone through it as well. It isn't dangerous at all, so no worries.
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I'm not a doctor.

Online Rob783

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2014, 08:12:47 PM »
Yep your not alone.  We've all had derealization, and its one of the more scarier things about panic disorder.  It makes you question your sanity...but as Adam said its temporary so ride it out and try not to give it too much of your attention.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2014, 09:41:50 PM »
Here is wikipedia of "derealization" --


The detachment of derealization can be described as an immaterial substance that separates a person from the outside world, such as a sensory fog, pane of glass, or veil. Individuals may complain that what they see lacks vividness and emotional coloring. Emotional response to visual recognition of loved ones may be significantly reduced. Feelings of déjà vu or jamais vu are common. Familiar places may look alien, bizarre, and surreal. The world as perceived by the individual may feel like it is going through a dolly zoom effect. Such perceptual abnormalities may also extend to the senses of hearing, taste, and smell. The degree of familiarity one has with their surroundings is among one's sensory and psychological identity, memory foundation and history when experiencing a place. When a person is in a state of derealization, they block this identifying foundation from recall. This "blocking effect" creates a discrepancy of correlation between one's perception of one's surroundings during a derealization episode, and what that same individual would perceive in the absence of a derealization episode.

Frequently, derealization occurs in the context of constant worrying or 'intrusive thoughts' that one finds hard to switch off. In such cases it can build unnoticed along with the underlying anxiety attached to these disturbing thoughts, and be recognized only in the aftermath of a realization of crisis, often a panic attack, subsequently seeming difficult or impossible to ignore. This type of anxiety can be crippling to the affected and may lead to avoidant behavior. Those who experience this phenomenon may feel concern over the cause of their derealization. It is often difficult to accept that such a disturbing symptom is simply a result of anxiety, and the individual may often think that the cause must be something more serious. This can, in turn, cause more anxiety and worsen the derealization. Derealization also affects the learning process. Because the individual almost sees the events as if in 3rd person, they cannot properly process information.

People suffering from derealization have described feeling as if the world external to them were something in a TV show or movie, or as if they were viewing it through a TV screen. This, and other similar feelings attendant to derealization, can cause a sensation of alienation and distance between the person suffering from derealization and others around them.
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Offline shellofabody

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2014, 09:16:33 PM »
Its just that ive had derealization before... it went away for a while, and then just suddenly came back but its different now. Its almost like, i know memories are there, but the harder i try to recall them the foggier they become. Sometimes to the point where my minds completely blank. I've been really scared lately of myself and the world around me, its like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel as if my brain is coming apart.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2014, 09:21:36 PM »

Are you seeing anyone for counseling or meds?  It sounds like professional help might be good.
Good luck.
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Offline shellofabody

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Re: Not myself anymore
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2014, 06:16:51 PM »
Im trying to get help now. Ive never had these symptoms before, I cant even remember what I did last weekend. Its like all of my memories are blurred. I cant think straight anymore. Life feels strange to me.
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