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Author Topic: Late night ramblings - mindfulness troubles and going off meds for pregnancy...  (Read 435 times)

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Offline Muggles

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Does anyone else feel like trying to make your brain be quiet, or trying to be mindful, stop your thoughts racing... It's kind of like trying to keep the floodgates closed with the power of your mind. Mine seems pretty weak. Thoughts start trickling through almost as soon as I catch them and pretty soon I'm flooded again. When I'm trying to hold them all back and not notice them, I get really anxious and my heart races. It's like (to use a different water analogy) I am holding my breath under water, but pretty soon I have to come up for air again. Or like hundreds of angry insects trying to break through a fly screen and then once one finds the way, they all do!

Lol okay I will stop with the analogies now. I have been trying to sleep but every time I try my thoughts go crazy and I get so tense it's unbearable and so I have turned to writing this post as a distraction.

Hmm what else can I tell you? I am immensely worried that everyone at work right now hates me but that's cos I'm paranoid. I am hoping to get pregnant soon but first I have to get off my second lot of meds. Already got off my mood stabilizer. Doing okay but noticing the difference! A psychiatrist once told me I have schizoaffective disorder but I don't know if I believe her. I hope I can survive pregnancy without losing it! Anyone else gone off meds to get pregnant??

Okay I'll stop blabbing and try to sleep. Thanks for reading my ramblings. I hope to hear some other experiences!
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Offline Cuchculan

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Mindfulness has been around for hundreds of years. Originally a Buddhist concept. Taken by Western psychologists and sold to world as something new they came up with. There is a new train of thought about the likes of meditation. That it should be done supervised. When we meditate for longer than five minutes all of our fears will surface. They will come to the top and take over our heads / minds. I do tend to agree with this. It is a silent time. Sitting there expecting nothing to come to mind just won't happen. It is far better to have something to focus on. Now you could use a guided meditation. A voice on a CD that will tell you what to do. So you are never alone with your thoughts. Or you can ready your own meditation. What you want to see when you close your eyes. Be it a big bubble protecting you from the world. Never easy. It takes time to get such things to work in the right way. But they can work if done right. I would never just sit there in silence without a plan in my head. That is asking for all your fears to come out and play.

As for having a baby. Something you would need to talk over with your doctor. There still might be some safe form of medication that you could continue to take. Be worth having a chat with him.
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