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Author Topic: relationship trust anxiety  (Read 84 times)

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Offline london23

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relationship trust anxiety
« on: April 01, 2014, 04:03:04 AM »
hello, about a year ago i started talking to someone by phone only, we talked for a year without meeting everyday we talked and still do, we realized we have alot in common..we both dont trust people easily or allow anyone in our life. After about a year and a half we decided to go ahead and meet and everything has been going good since, there has been slow but steady progress..we have opened up more and more to each other, we kiss..hug caress each other, and we are even sexually active with each other, i have no doubt in my mind that specially for this person she has had to dig deep to trust me, and im really happy about that, i can really say that i trust her fully. But this is where my problem comes in..once in a while she will say for example work extra hours and we wont be able to text for that duration, and during that time i slowly start gathering thoughts in my head that maybe shes lying to me or playing me..and then this downspirralls and my anxiety gets really bad..and thoughts get worse..and my breathing gets heavy..and my stomach feels sick and i start to feel as though im losing her. By the time shes finished she will text me..and i will be in such a unstable state of mind that i let loose..not angrily..but i confront her about if this is what she really wants, its stupid and i get angry at myself everytime i do it, because i should not have any reason to worry, but my mind always finds a way to be intrusive and make me feel terrible, could you guys give me some sort of advice? Thank you
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: relationship trust anxiety
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2014, 05:44:50 AM »
This can be one of those things that works both ways. You both know how the other person is about trust issues. You have known this all along. Before you ever met each other. In a sense you knew what you were getting yourself in to. If she lived around the corner it might be a different story. But with the distance comes the problems. I am sure it would be no surprise to her if she ever heard you didn't trust her. I would guess that she may suspect this as it is. But you have to accept that she has a life, other than been with you and texting you all the time. Work is work. It has to be done. It pays the bills. I would view it in such a way that you both met as you did due to lack of trust of others. Keeping that in mind why don't you trust her? If she has problems trusting others I doubt she would get involved with anybody else at all. She would never have been single if she didn't have these issues to begin with. I would keep that in mind. Her lack of trust had held her back for years. I doubt she suddenly changed over night and began trusting everybody. So it is just your own lack of trust, that was with you before you met her. Both of you need to accept that the other person may have other things to do and can't be there all the time. That is called life.
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