I agree with everyone else how amazing it is that anxiety can come back so fast with a vengeance. Personally I thought I licked it for a good 10 years. But now I see I just had a time period where things were stable. Once things became unstable ( I moved ) I am on a constant roller coaster of anxiety over literally everything I see. It is so bad it is interfering with me.
Today was illustrative.
- I work up and 10 minutes before I had to leave to make my train my cat went into his box but didn't seem to go. I was instantly panicked that he had a UTI, but I had to leave. After getting to the station somehow, I obsessed on that on the trip checking symptoms on the i phone.
-Got to work and read something that made me concerned about my job... basically I don't really remember what happened today because most of my job was obsessing on that.
- when I got home I found my cat had piddled (yeh) but then I noticed my back door was unlocked. I was sure I had locked it so I panicked... I ran through my house checking all my closets... or anyplace that someone could hide, but nothing... still feeling panicked... though it is unlikely that anyone could have gotten up on the door as it is on a balcony without stairs. Nevertheless I am in a state of near constant anxiety.
This happens every day. If it isn't my cat it is something. Last night I noticed one of my pieces of furniture was wobbly and I obsessed and ripped my house apart to find an allen wrench to tighten it up. Then I am sort of obsessed with some of the floors in my new place seem to be sagging but I can't tell if it is the floor or a poor rug installation. This of course is what I obsess about every moment of the day when I am home.
It is interfering with my life. But I don't know... how do you do therapy? Does it really work? I don't know... seems like I will just put all that effort in and have my life blown apart by something else.