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Author Topic: I just can't believe them  (Read 262 times)

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Offline StopTheFear

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I just can't believe them
« on: March 25, 2014, 08:23:11 PM »
I've been dealing with pretty severe anxiety for 3 years now.

Strong pulse feeling in my neck
Heart palpitations
Random pains throughout my body
Suddenly feeling super sick and needing to get a drink/walk
Panic attacks(not as often anymore)
ect

I have these feelings everyday. In these 3 years I've had maybe 10 hospital visits, 15 doctor appointments, 3 cardiologist visits, each doing test.
Everything comes back fine. Everyone tells me its anxiety.

So, why cant I believe it? Is it because the physical symptoms are so real? Or is it because I can google away and check every single thing my doctor may have missed?
Seems like everyone of my symptoms could be something very serious, and I always think "Yeah this is whats wrong, they missed this." Its not that I can't trust people, but its my life right? Its my only one, and I want to make sure I'm okay.
Everything you read about online, or whenever I ask a doctor comes along with "its rare."
"Its rare someone your age would suffer from this."
"Its unlikely this would happen."
"Maybe if you were older this would be a concern."
"Your results are fine, its rare something would be wrong."

What if I'm rare? What if I'm that 'one in a million' they always talk about.

When I'm feeling fine, or occupied with something, the symptoms fade. Which leads me to think its anxiety. However sometimes I'm just watching TV, or playing a game, or reading, and then "woah that doesn't feel right.".
How do I explain that? Why does that happen? It should be Anxiety ----> Symptoms
Symptoms ---->Anxiety?
That doesn't make sense to me.
but my only option is to trust everyone. I have to trust the doctors know everything. I have to believe I'm not that 'rare' case. I have to ignore all of my physical problems, and remind myself its just anxiety.
Sigh.

Sorry, just felt like ranting somewhere. I feel so lost. I'm only 20, and ever since I turned 17 this anxiety has taken control of everything. I stopped going out, I stopped enjoying food, I stopped being able to fall asleep, ect. So many problems.
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Offline anagargano

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2014, 09:40:15 PM »
Im really sorry you feel so aweful ...anxiety is a horrible unpredictable disease....I know how you feel , Im always thinking what if Im the rare case and they missed it ....but the truth is if there was something wrong all these tests , all these drs you have seen ..someone wld have noticed something......You have anxiety .....and the list of symptoms is a mile long......we have to accept uncertainty or we will never be cured .....
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Offline anagargano

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2014, 09:42:09 PM »
another thing ..STOP googling...you have to ....we are not drs we can not diagnose ourselves ...google is really the enemy of HA
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Offline marc

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2014, 10:06:01 PM »
Sounds like anxiety to me. I would try therapy, medication, etc., whatever it takes to feel better.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Faron79

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2014, 12:16:36 AM »
STF-
Answer me ONE question:
Have you been to a Cognitive-Behavioural Therapist?

Y or N ?

Faron
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2014, 05:57:47 AM »
Just because you are doing something to "get your mind off your symptoms" doesn't mean that your mind is off them!   YES you can still have anxiety symptoms even out with a friend if those symptoms ARE in the back of your mind.  When you TRULY are absorbed in something else (not merely "trying" to be - that doesn't work) your symptoms will disappear - you'll have that moment when you think, "Hey!  I forgot about such and such TOTALLY and it didn't bother me!" 

I totally can understand the thinking of wondering if you the rare one.  I was worried about Pilomotor Seizure disorder.   Only 20 people in the WORLD have it and I thought, "Well I could be number 21! I'm not EXEMPT!"  But you really HAVE to look at the odds because you ruin your life otherwise.   I drive for a living and have a MUCH higher chance of being in a motor vehicle accident than I have of almost any other disease out there (there's not even any cancer in my family!), but do I worry about that?  Nope. I worry about rare seizure disorders and cancer!  One day I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up worrying about testicular cancer!   (I'm female....  That's how screwed up my thinking is!)
All of us HA KNOW our thinking process about health is messed up, but how to stop it?  No idea.
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Offline mct425

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2014, 10:48:55 AM »
I understand-and completely agree with Sunlover :)

Those symptoms (if anxiety related) will be there so long as your mind is aware of them.  When I TRY to do things to distract my mind from my symptoms, it doesn't work because I keep thinking, "Do I feel it?  Is it still there?"

It's when I'm truly absorbed in something that they go away-like dealing with an unexpected issue in the house, night out with friends, etc.

Someone once posted on here that it isn't common for doctors to "miss" things.  If you've had all those tests run and seen more than one doctor, and they're ALL saying you're fine, then chances are...you're FINE :) 
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Offline StopTheFear

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2014, 11:29:03 PM »
Thank you guys for taking the time to reply. I am new to this forum and just sort of browsing around now. Some of the topics are pretty helpful.

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Offline Faron79

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2014, 11:33:46 PM »
Still waiting STF!

Faron
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Offline StopTheFear

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2014, 10:35:43 PM »
Well I just started seeing a therapist last week. So I'm still in the process of seeing how this will go. The first session was good overall though.
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Offline Faron79

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Re: I just can't believe them
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2014, 11:25:58 PM »
If I may...what broad topics did you go over?
Is your therapist a CBT-oriented person?

Faron
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