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Author Topic: Worry about quality of life  (Read 247 times)

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Offline Sarah

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Worry about quality of life
« on: March 17, 2014, 07:34:16 PM »

I'm usually quite private about my anxiety (not out of embarrassment and more through peoples lack of understanding) but I'm just really looking to talk to people that know what living with anxiety is really like.

As with most people I've worried for as long as I can remember. Some of my most vivid school memories are of me worry about something. I'm 26 now and things have only got worse really. I had what I think was a breakdown about 16 months ago and it was the darkest time of my life. Since then I've rebuilt myself and my life but the anxiety is still there.

I guess I'm just starting to wonder what kind of quality of life I have ahead of me. If the rest of my life is going to be clouded by my anxiety then (ironically) I can't stop worry about it. I do have happiness in my life. I have a wonderful daughter and great friends. I just feel like I can't enjoy my life fully because of the weight of anxiety on me, ruining stuff!

The most recent 'wave' was after I split from a net partner. It was a massive and constant panic about being HIV+. For some reason (and I'm not entirely sure why) this is a really big deal to me. Even writing it out now is freaking me out a bit. I was walking round like a zombie for weeks, googling the symptoms, thinking about my funeral and the fact that I'd have to send my daughter to live with someone else to be sure I didn't pass it on to her. I couldn't enjoy anything, including my birthday, until I got the 'all clear'. Which I did. But the intense anxiety that lasted for weeks has now caused a flare up of psorisis all over my body. And I've never suffered from it before.

Does this get easier? As I get older will I learn how to cope better? Is there anyone who feels as though they have a good and happy life - despite their anxiety??

Sarah x

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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Worry about quality of life
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2014, 06:54:28 AM »
Honest answer? I think a good lot of people base the lives around their condition. In other words you will know what you can and can't do. So you will learn to look for things to fit in with what you can do. If I look at my own life. Agoraphobic. Indoors for a decade. Then I began to go out to the garden. Now this got me interested in gardening. I took up doing that. Something I could do in my own time. Wasn't getting me exercise as well and some air. Then I began doing neighbour's gardens. Here I was getting paid for doing this now. It can just take finding that one little something that you know you can do. Once you find that you will see you can make for yourself some kind of life. There may be other things you take on along the way. I pushed myself further and further as time went by. Expanding my gardening to neighbouring areas. Making a living from it. I soon felt at ease outside the house. Began to go to the shops and hop on trains and buses. Things I had not done in years. Once you are willing to make the effort, and it is not easy, you will be rewarded. We all have setbacks along the way. They happen. But we just have to dig deeper and keep pushing forward. No matter how bad things may seem right now, there is always a road back. You just have to believe in yourself. That you can do it.
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