It's difficult to make a second-hand assessment, since you're telling us about her actions, not her thoughts (which you have no way of knowing). Just based on your description, it certainly sounds as though she has some emotional problems that she pushes onto you. I can't tell you based on your description whether or not your wife has OCD, or if she feels the need to control your every move based on some other reason. Ultimately, however, whether she is suffering from OCD or something else, you cannot help her if she doesn't wish to be helped. The only way her behavior will improve is if she acknowledges that something is wrong and is willing to take the steps to fix it.
As much as we may want to, it's impossible to "fix" another person. What you need to do for yourself is to decide whether this is a situation you want to commit yourself to. If she's unwilling to seek counseling, you can certainly get counseling for yourself, which may help you learn how to cope with this situation, or to give you the confidence to remove yourself from it entirely, if that's what's best for you. I'd recommend seeking out a therapist who can work with you to help you make this decision.