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Author Topic: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........  (Read 264 times)

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Offline Brittney

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felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« on: March 11, 2014, 06:37:13 PM »
so my anxiety has been around for over 5 years; ive only been on/tried a handful of medications because im very sensitive to meds so id rather just steer clear of them. anywho, since im not on meds, I don't know and haven't been able to really "accept" my anxiety, come to terms with it, or be able to deal with the symptoms (even though ive had the same symptom at least 527383626 times since ive developed anxiety) lol
my safe place is the hospital. I have to be near a hospital most of the time. I have sat in the hospital parking lot for hours on end just because I didn't want to go in and I felt safe being there anyway. I have also been inside the hospital more than 100 times and actualy saw the doctor. I go to the same hospital "most" of the time because its close but I have been to the other 6 hospitals we have in our area over 30 times each too :/ so I went to the er yesterday (the one closest to me) because my stomach has been KILLING me. cant sit still, feel like I was punched in the stomach by a man 20 times, killing me.... I was sent home as always with the "follow up with a specialist".... went home, tried doing my daily wife/mother duties as best as I could, still hurting.... layed down around midnight and all of a sudden my left jaw clenched as if it didn't want to open and a warm tingling feeling rolled right down into my left arm... I FREAKED! my husband works 2nd into 3rd shift and knew he couldn't get here fast enough so I called ems. they got here did everything theyre supposed to do but had to wait on my husband to get here before they could take me. (children were asleep)
get to the closest hospital I always go to. checked out to be "gastritis" apparently AGAIN and as I was discharged I over heard 2 nurses talking about me. saying things like my husband should have already left me because I live in the hospital. my children will grow up to be just as crazy as me. my children are probably neglected because of how much I come there. I probably have different "baby dads". theyre sick of taking care of me...... this went on for 5-10 minutes.... it was HORRIBLE!!!!!
I know I have issues and I know I should handle them differently but to hear all of that just made me feel stupid, humiliated, like I don't belong here.
I just wanted to share my story of how inconsiderate people are who don't have anxiety and get some feedback on if I should do anything about it.
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Offline Lo213

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2014, 07:11:00 PM »
I know how you feel. People without anxiety have no idea what it's like. I hate my ER because they treat me like crap and often don't do anything. I fear they'll miss something real because they ignore me. I've heard them talking about me and it's so humiliating.
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Offline anagargano

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2014, 07:11:48 PM »
Thats aweful really aweful....dont take it to heart these people dont understand the pain you go thru with this disorder and how difficult it is to just get thru the day sometimes....as nurses you wld think they knew better but obviously not...lots of ignorant people out there and mental illness is so misunderstood and not taken seriously ......things are getting better slowly ...v slowly /..... we understand .....
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Offline anagargano

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2014, 07:14:40 PM »
what I also hate is when normal people say Im depressed or I feel so anxious......really do you I think?? step into my shoes I think.....inconsiderate use of terms/language , becasue they really have no idea what it is to be depressed or really anxious....just feeling bit crap for a minute .....boy is it not the same thing.....
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2014, 07:30:39 PM »
That is TERRIBLE Brittney!   Those are supposed to be professional people, and it doesn't matter if you were there 30 times in one DAY, they should treat each person with respect!  They should get some education into the world of health anxiety.  Everything these days we all have to be so "sensitive" and "understanding" but when it comes to a mental problem somehow that is ALLOWED to be mocked and made fun of!  That really makes me mad.
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2014, 08:18:58 PM »
Those nurses need to be reported, that is extremely unprofessional conduct. 

It's so hard for people who don't have HA to understand the nonsense that goes through our heads.  It's not your fault, you have an illness (anxiety).
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Offline Steelers629

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2014, 09:44:02 PM »
That nurses would talk about you like that is terrbile.  You (and everyone else her) have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.  A lot of people don't think of hypochondriacs as people with a sickness but as people who just choose to worry.  It's impossible for anyone to know what a day with our brain would be like.
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Offline Brittney

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2014, 10:38:29 PM »
ive contacted the head manager in charge of the nurses; im hoping to just get my story out about how a day in the life of a hypo really is. what happened, has ran through my head all day... just another cause for the anxiety to rev up...grrrrr
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Offline stephtronic

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2014, 03:43:58 AM »
That is truly awful, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Chitchat about patients, especially when rude, is very unprofessional.

Aside from that, though, you said you've been to that particular hospital 100+ times? Is that correct? And I'm assuming you mean that you've been to the ER that many times? While you should always get treated with respect as a patient, and the nurses had no right to do what they did, there is also a line that has to be drawn when you've been to the ER 100+ times (and I'm assuming nothing serious has been found), and you even know it's mostly to do with untreated anxiety. Emergency rooms are for emergencies. Yes, you have a mental illness, and I get that -- I have one, too. I've done the constant emergency trips and the annoyed doctors, and back then I thought they were just rude and awful, but now I've come to realize that I was the one out of place, not them. Obviously it's never okay to say the things they did, but this is just some food for thought in general.

Really, though, please look into getting help for your anxiety. Hospitals are not the place.
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Offline clippergoodwill

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2014, 04:09:24 AM »
I'm glad you reported the nurses. Aside from being extremely unprofessional, they were possibly in serious violation of HIPPA guidelines. Surely, if you could hear them talking, others could too. They need a reminder of why they got into the nursing profession to begin with, and that not all illnesses are 'visible'. What we go through is very hard on us, mentally and physically. We don't need the people charged with taking care of us, and ensuring our well being, criticizing us. Thankfully not all nurses share this attitude, it was a few good ones that helped me realize that what I had was anxiety, and how potentially powerful it could be.

I'm glad you're here now though, you're among people who not only understand what you're going through, but can provide remedies and tips to get through the rough days.

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Offline Brick5711

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Re: felt humiliated because of my anxiety........
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2014, 04:23:05 AM »
I agree with steph. Although very unprofessional, if you were in their shoes and did ot have HA, you would probably mention to a feloow nurse that the person is a little crazy. You should seek professional help. Sitting in the hospital parking lot because you feel safe is equivalent to sitting in a police station parking lot because you feel safe. Don't ste your life away and miss your kids growing up while you sit in a parking lot.
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