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Author Topic: The problems that brought me here  (Read 158 times)

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Offline gatorfan04

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The problems that brought me here
« on: March 09, 2014, 09:51:25 PM »
My journey with health anxiety began with a fear of oral cancer.  I have a lump in my neck, pain in my ear, and pain in my mouth.  After many doctors and tests, including a CT scan, I was diagnosed with TMJ disorder by an ENT specializing in head and neck cancers.  I don't know why I thought I had this horrible illness because I have never even tried smoking, alcohol, or drugs of any kind.  That was a year ago, and even to this day I worry they missed something and it's just going to show up one day and kill me.  I still google my symptoms although not as much as I used to.  I thought I had gotten better for a while but really it was just that I didn't care anymore.  But when the feeling returned, it was very bad.  I worried about other cancers.  I recently started having a horrible constant pain in my lower right abdomen and I worry that it's something like ovarian cancer or maybe even lung cancer.  Which is all because of Google.  I have always been a healthy person and there is no history of cancer in my family.  But these facts don't stop me from worrying.  My latest worry is melanoma.  I have a mole on the back of my neck that has been there since early childhood and I am now a sophomore in college.  It has gotten kind of painful and tomorrow I am going to get it removed and biopsied.  Of course I will have to wait 7-10 days for the results and I am so worried it's going to be bad.  I sometimes wonder if I will have health anxiety forever but I am reminded of the apostle Paul who prayed three times to have the thorn removed from his side.  God told him "My grace is sufficient."  Perhaps health anxiety is the thorn in my side.
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Offline xxAmyxx

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Re: The problems that brought me here
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2014, 10:32:45 PM »
I've had HA for a long time. It has gone in to long "remissions", even years at a time. Then a stressful event or something medical will pop up and send me on a downward spiral once again. Still trying to pick myself out of this last one.  Welcome, you're not alone!  :action-smiley-065:
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Offline gatorfan04

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Re: The problems that brought me here
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2014, 10:38:20 PM »
Thanks for the warm welcome. :) I think part of the key for me is going to be realizing how to deal with my issues in a healthy way.  It's weird because I know what to do, but I can't seem to do it.  My grandmother describes those of us that struggle with HA as people that have locked ourselves out of cars, and we see the keys on the driver's seat, but we don't know how to get them.  I feel like that is an accurate description.  Even now I know I am letting God down with my unhealthy ways of dealing with my problems.  I'm trying to learn to lean on Him, because I can't lean on myself.
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