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Author Topic: NOT new here, but hey....this is me.  (Read 64 times)

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Offline terriberryfuller

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NOT new here, but hey....this is me.
« on: March 06, 2014, 09:55:29 AM »
well, where do i start?

i'm 31 years old, and even though i've not been to the doctors in over two years, i **think** i'm somewhat of a healthy person. about three years ago, i mentioned to my doctor that my heart would start racing out of nowhere. the doctor did no tests, just asked questions. from there, i was diagnosed with panic disorder. because i have a medication phobia, i was not put on any medications and refuse to take medications as well.

as of late, i have had my panic attacks under control. BUT, now i've had HA rearing it's ugly head lately. because i have not been to the doctors in some time, i fear that there are underlying things going on with me that are eventually going to put me six feet under. i struggle with going to the doctor. i am not afraid of doctors, but i am afraid of going and them telling me that i have cancer or some other disease that's incurable and will eventually harm me.

because my husband is in the navy, i am alone 90% of the year. it sucks, but we are madly in love. he's very understanding of my thoughts, and has tried everything in his power to help. we lead a normal life, with the exception of the fact that i have also come to terms with the fact that i also have a touch of agoraphobia lately. i live a mile from the grocery store and ONE department store, and those are the only two places i go, mainly because they're all back roads that lead to these two places. i haven't been on the main road alone in well over nine months now. i fear red lights, because people are beside me and in front of me and behind me. at that point, i feel trapped. [trust me, the lights where we live? they take forever to turn green. it's pretty bad....even my husband agrees.]

i fear going on the main road because i am afraid that i will have an attack in my car and it will cause me to faint. i know that so many people tell me that during an attack, your BP goes up -- and fainting is caused by your bp going down. but me being stubborn? lol

anyways -- i enjoy the forums now. i used to only use the chat option here. but i have found that actually being able to talk about what i am going through on the forums and hopefully helping others is a bit more conducive to my well being.

on the up side of things? i am getting better every day when it comes to coming out on the other end of this mess. hopefully one day, i will be able to face my fears and go see a doctor. one day....
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Offline Faron79

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Re: NOT new here, but hey....this is me.
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2014, 06:54:41 PM »
Hello TBF!

This is my 2nd post here. I've been reading this forum off & on for a couple years. Your story sounds exactly like mine! I got better with help from a good CBT, together with Zoloft, which I took for a year. I didn't think I needed any "help", but I was wrong!! Things got SO much better for me in 2012, when I started with the therapist. CBT (to ME) unwinds the goofy thinking and fears that we develop, and react TO...mentally AND physically. I found out that thoughts and fears CANNOT hurt you.
I used to be so scared of left-shoulder pains over the years being a symptom that I'm gonna have a heart-attack!! Well....who in the world can have a heart-attack for years?!?!?! Answer- NO ONE! I DO have a tendency for A-fib rhythms sometimes. I've learned this can't kill me. I stated in my intro that I am under a Cardiologists care. It's just stupid to NOT to be cared for! You can then work with a CBT for understanding your health-fears & other fears.

I've been reading a very good book by Aaron T. Beck about CBT, recommended by my Therapist. It's been a Godsend in understanding erroneous thinking!

Faron
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: NOT new here, but hey....this is me.
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2014, 03:32:05 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.

Possibly 10 posts to enter chat at the moment.
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Offline jane134

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Re: NOT new here, but hey....this is me.
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2014, 07:13:06 AM »
Terri  :action-smiley-065:

Can relate to what you say about the shops and the dreaded traffic lights. I'm EXACTLY the same. Always here if you want/need to chat. It's nice to know you are not going through this madness alone  :happy0151:
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In order to fly, you have to unload the stuff that weighs you down.

Offline terriberryfuller

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Re: NOT new here, but hey....this is me.
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2014, 07:19:14 AM »
thanks, all.

cuch, i have been a member for three years and have been in chat the entire time - but thanks! hehe ;)

i just like the forums a bit more lately. but wanted to introduce myself
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