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Author Topic: Anxiety Issues & Dating  (Read 179 times)

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Offline Living4today

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Anxiety Issues & Dating
« on: February 27, 2014, 08:14:07 AM »
I have suffered from anxiety for many years. It always seems to wreak havoc on me personally when dating. I focus & over analyze all the time. I've recently started dating someone. Last night I hesitantly shared with him that I suffer from anxiety, to my relief he shared with me that he does as well & told me that he takes medication for it. I shared with him that I did also take medication for several years, but stopped due to weight gain & since trying to get on medication again I've had some difficulty finding one that helps & work well. I was a little taken aback that immediately after talking about medication his question to me was "what the heck do you worry so much about". I know it probably was not his intention, but it made me feel about 2 ft tall by him asking me that. I would have thought that of all people, someone who suffers from the same thing would know what the worries are about without having to put it like that. I proceeded to tell him that it wasn't one thing in particular, but that when things bother me or I get stressed I tend to worry a lot or focus on things more so than I should. I then told him I was nervous to even talk to him about it & he responded with "what stress, everyone has it, your fine, don't let it kill you". Again not exactly the response I was anticipating.

Needless to say the conversation has heightened my anxiety. It's only been a short period of time we've been dating, but this is enough for me to evaluate things. I wasn't expecting any sympathy from him, but was a little surprised with his choice of words when responding to what I shared with him.

Any thoughts, guidance or advise?
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Anxiety Issues & Dating
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2014, 11:42:35 PM »

Hi Living,

I can empathize with your dating story.  Dating is challenging even without anxiety.
When I date, I'm trying not to give up to quickly on people.  The guy may have a different
concept of what anxiety means to him and you may want to share with him what your concept
is.  My two cents.
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Offline clippergoodwill

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Re: Anxiety Issues & Dating
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2014, 03:17:07 AM »
I agree with Worldbeat, it sounds like the guy has a different concept of what anxiety is. It is a little discomforting that he reacted with those responses right off the bat, maybe it was due to his medication? I know mine can make me a bit snappy at times, and I'll say things with a bit more attitude than intended. It was real bad when I was taking Topamax (all of my meds are technically anti depressants, but are low dose to treat my vestibular migraines.), I was extremely agitated when I took that stuff. I probably apologized to everyone I work with several times.

Hopefully you and him can clear the air and help one another through the anxiety. One of the goals for us in relationships should be to find someone to help relieve, or at least understand our anxiety, not make it worse.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Anxiety Issues & Dating
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2014, 11:48:19 AM »
Hi, well my thought is maybe he was nervous and wasn't thinking....it could be what he said was not intended to sound as bad as it did.  Being that he suffers from anxiety too he surely must understand what it's like.  I say, give him another chance! :)
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Anxiety Issues & Dating
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2014, 11:45:03 PM »
Clipper, I totally agree.  I am seeking some romantic partner that can help comfort and encourage me!   ::) :P :-*
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