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Offline tobito

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Fear of dying
« on: February 27, 2014, 01:03:47 AM »
A few days ago, I was watching the Olympics, and right before the women's ski halfpipe, there was a story about the woman who had done all she could to make sure that sport was added to the Olympic roster. I'd missed the first few minutes of it -- grabbing a pop or whatever -- and it took me a bit to notice they were talking about her in the past tense. "Oh no," I realized, " she died."

I watched the whole thing. Her husband spoke, her parents spoke. It was a really moving piece. They showed a beautiful procession other skiiers and snowboarders had held in this woman's honor, I got all teary eyed, and then, about two seconds later, I was in the middle of a panic attack because one day I was going to die too. I'm a hypochondriac, and my hypochondria has always stemmed from my fear of death (something I've had virtually my whole life, since my grandpa died when I was 6), but I've never been so... aware of the inevitability. And now I just can't stop thinking about it. I keep trying for distractions, but somehow it manages to sneak up on me even in the middle of playing video games.

I'm religious, which helps to an extent, but I get so worked up over the idea of "stopping." I can't fathom it. I know there's the whole, "Before you were born you didn't know any better!" philosophy, but the idea of nonexistence: of my memories, and my thoughts and feelings, of all of that just being gone... I really, really can't handle it.

I'm only 22 now (which by itself is horrifying; sometimes all I can think is, "A quarter of my life is over," and it makes me cry), and I know I've got a good future ahead of me. I want to appreciate it and enjoy it and live it as much as I possibly can, but I get so hung up about the end that everything else comes to a screeching halt. How does anyone else deal with this?
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of dying
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2014, 06:05:57 AM »
What is it they said in the film The Life of Brian ' You came from nothing, you are going back to nothing, what have you lost, nothing '. I think that a classic line. But you do get a lot of people think about death. When they should be enjoying life. To me, the biggest mystery of life is death. We all have these ideas of what happens when we do die. But there is only one way we will ever find the answer out. That is the one way we don't to go. So the longer that question remains unanswered the better for us all. Think about 50 years from now. Would you prefer to look back and say you gave life a good shot or would you look back and ask yourself why you wasted so much time thinking about death, that you forgot to enjoy your life? I do think we all need a belief. Be it a heaven or reincarnation. Just that little something to have in our minds. It can help put our minds at ease. You know in Buddhism, they more or less get ready for death the day they are born. It is part of their teachings. From day one. They accept life and death as one. That is not saying they want to die. They don't. But they learn to accept it as part of the overall plan and they are happy with it. You are still young. You should be out having fun. Enjoying your life. If you are part of any church, talk to your priest. Believe in what you are thought. You will learn that life is there to be enjoyed as well.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Online tinam7

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Re: Fear of dying
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2014, 08:05:53 AM »
Am attracted to death like a moth to the flame. Have spent much time wondering about this and have decided it's because I never wanted to be born to begin with. Don't fault myself either, because I was born when mass killing was the order of the day.

So I have no great illusion about life, its presumed charms and delights and pleasures. Maybe these are there for some while others are struggling, suffering in the worst way. The rest, as I see it, is Ego, Ego which forgets that "I" is one in millions.

Forget it, just live life as best you can. The best we can do is do for others.
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Offline Billiam

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Re: Fear of dying
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2014, 07:03:45 PM »
I'm right here with you! I think what will happen to my wife and kids(just find out my wife is preg with #3) I love them so much I never want to see them hurt. Also I wonder about after life. I have my belifies but it scares me to know I might not be here to protect my family and enjoy the good times. The other thing is that you never know "when" it's going to happen! I lost a few friends right out of high school(18-19yrs old) I'm 30 now! But all we can do is live and pray for the best!
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Fear of dying
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2014, 08:05:47 PM »
We can spend our days over-worrying an unbeatable battle, but at the end of the day.... there's not knowing what the future brings. It's best to focus on now and rationality. I'm 22 years old too, I've had the same fear for a while, but you know... You've got to find something strong enough to grasp when those thoughts come. I always think of getting married some day, and raising children who will carry on when I pass. That's my grasp when I get those types of thoughts.

Am I going to hit the bar, and find a mate tonight to secure that? Probably not.

People come and people go, it's not in anyones rational thinking to even worry about or mess with. Think of the elderly, those who grow old. They're happy, they sit around and talk, visit... do things that you and I would think would be boring. They could kick any minute, but they don't show any signs. you've got a LOT of life ahead of you, there's no sense running at full pace when you're not even reached the last leg of the race.

But I can definitely relate, seeing a or reading or hearing about a death, especially of one in young age can bring realization to what happens and how precious life is..

But convert that to continuing to live a positive lifestyle, death won't even be a concern then.
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Sometimes, when I'm home alone, I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.


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