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Author Topic: Ridiculous thought... am I delusional?  (Read 209 times)

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Offline bluecanary

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Ridiculous thought... am I delusional?
« on: February 26, 2014, 07:24:21 PM »
So... I had the stupidest thought pop into my head today. My fiance was feeling sick to his stomach, and I made him some toast and tea. I can't believe I even thought it, but for just a second, I thought, "What if I blacked out and had a psychotic moment and poisoned him and that's why he's not feeling good?" I guess it comes from watching some of those crime TV shows with those "black widows" who poison their husbands and families. The thought was so nuts that I immediately panicked that it had even occurred to me. What kind of person even for a split second has a thought like this? Am I being delusional, or is this just a product of a very anxious mind?  :(
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Offline Potatoes

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Re: Ridiculous thought... am I delusional?
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2014, 08:23:34 PM »
I don't think you're delusional at all... in fact I think if you DID poison him and that's why he's not feeling good and you thought that it was totally legit to do that then that'd be delusional.

As anxious comes irrational thoughts follow. It might not even be as much of anxiety as it your creative mind. We all get those thoughts... those "what ifs". I get them from time to time... Especially after seeing that Final Destination series that some freak accident is going to come out of nowhere and take someone out.

I think you're just having creative thought anxiety. (;
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Offline Ryan1788

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Re: Ridiculous thought... am I delusional?
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2014, 11:48:33 PM »
That is a typical OCD thought. Its a very scary intrusive thought, and I think if you poisoned him, he would be much more sick and on his death bed lol  :P but your not delusional, your mind is just creating the anxiety about the thought and its making the thought worse and worse. I had thoughts similar to yours when I was going through my "shiz ocd" phase. It was awful but I would worry about my best friends poisoning me cuz she would always cook dinner for me and sometimes I thought I would kill her for doing that to me! but I knew deep down it was all silly thoughts, even though they were very scary, I would tell myself, ok your ocd is just trying to control you and you will not let it! Why would my best friend ever poison me?! And I finally came to realization that it was just thoughts   :laugh3: everyone is the world are capable of having thoughts like these, us OCD sufferers unfortunately take them a little more seriously. Most ppl can just brush these thoughts off like nothing but for an OCD sufferer it can linger in your mind for days, weeks, months or years!!!! OCD sucks!!!!!!!!!!! but just know your not delusional  :action-smiley-065:
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Offline bluecanary

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Re: Ridiculous thought... am I delusional?
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2014, 12:44:25 PM »
Thanks for the responses, folks - I know that a thought like this, even if it randomly occurred to me, wouldn't carry any weight at all if I weren't already feeling very anxious. I've always held the belief that if I were truly having a delusion, I wouldn't recognize it as being a ridiculous thought, but I read an article recently where a girl had mentioned that she had bipolar with schizoaffective tendencies (I think that's the correct term, not 100% positive) and that she had a delusion that her boyfriend had been replaced by an alien doppelganger. She said that at the time, she realized it was a crazy thought, which I always thought was impossible. I think deep down, my rational mind is still there, but it gets drowned out by the intrusive, anxious thoughts.

I think my #1 biggest fear with my anxiety/OCD is that I'm "crazy" or that I'm going to become schizophrenic or suffer from psychosis. It seems like I'm closer to that line, or more vulnerable, because I've already got one mental/emotional disorder, so I'm more likely to have another, right? It's comforting to know that many people with OCD and anxiety suffer from this same fear.
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