I worry because I will openly admit I have pretty bad eating habits, and I will mention again that I've had numerous abdominal x-rays and blood work done and I have seen the x-rays myself. I had one in October of 2011, and then my most recent one was in June of 2013. They both almost looked identical. I thought for sure that I had a tumor in the lower right side of my abdomen, but they both said it was compacted waste - along with the other doctors I have seen. I'm just terrified I'll be that one 20 year old that has colon cancer.
Hi C, well, you worry because you have HA / Anxiety Disorder(s). And, as has been shown by history and our experience, it isn't that
important about what we are actually, currently, worrying (freaking) about vs. what we are doing in our OVERALL daily habits and actions that can help us move down our healing path a little better.
What we notice, analyze and 'diagnose' as going on in our body is heavily
skewed by our anxiety issues. Not much makes sense to our amped up minds and, then, our bodies manifest increased symptoms when we are hyper with worry trying to 'figure it all out'. Trust me, you ain't gonna figure it all out....I say kindly:) I gave up on that many years ago, after proverbially bashing my head against a brick wall desperately wanting ALL the answers for why I felt this or that or believed this or that or perceived this or that or why I even had damn HA / ADs in the first place! With anxiety issues, there is a tremendous amount of acceptance that has to embraced in order for us live well (much better) alongside our mental health challenges. Through acceptance there can come some insightful understanding, perhaps, of our anxious situations. But, trying to understand all
of this sometimes wild boat ride (our anxiety) will keep us chasing our tails in a big 'ol circle...creating even more anxiety, inevitably.
When checked out medically (which it seems you have been), we have to learn to let go. Learn to let our bodies live and do what they are supposed to do. We have to learn how to live ALONGSIDE our mental health challenges. And, this we CAN do. Of course, it isn't a smooth trail to our lasting, viable healing path. What makes our path to some lasting peace pretty bumpy, at times, is a powerful intrusive thought process that can hound HA peeps. And, that is: "Holy Sh#t, I had better be super freakin' vigilant about my health OR ELSE!". "I just know
I'm gonna be THE ONE
who dies before their time!". "I know I read about other folks, here, and their struggles with HA / AD, but I really
feel my case is just a bit different, somehow / someway", "How can I really move forward with my life, and be all I can be, when I just know I've got something sinister lurking in my body just waiting to pounce!", "What I feel is REAL - damnit....I'm not making this crap up - believe me!"
Good grief.....this is some driving, strong thinking patterns! No wonder we want to run off to the Doc and have MORE check-ups and have MORE med testing. We just want to not die and miss out on life and miss out on being there for our loved ones. But, keep in mind, while HA has us in a cycle of fear and while HA has us repeating past patterns of actions and habits, which have led to little overall relief, we ARE missing out on life, so to speak. We are missing out on living WELL despite having our anxiety issues. And, again, we CAN live well alongside our challenges. This has been shown too many times for us to believe that lasting solace is not available for each of us. It is:) Easy? No. Doable to our own extents of being able to embrace acceptance and embrace the actions, habits and mindsets that can move us towards our healing path? YES:)
What is going on in your anxiety help / self help?
Peace and Feel Well:)