It seems like almost everyone I met this morning, acted really rudely towards me. This is in addition to my experiencing essentially bad luck at every turn (coffee spilling, trains late, accidentally bumping into people, etc). Needless to say, I feel like a complete and utter loser right now. I am contemplating hurting myself with food (using excess salt, diet soda, etc). Just bc I am so p**d off at all this crap I'm getting. This won't be the first time I have resorted to attempted self harm out of frustration. I am getting a bit worried about this. Every morning, I assess myself based on how many positive and negative responses and interactions I have had with people. I grade myself a failure about 8 out of every 10 times. Of course, that then leads to self harm attempts. I would not ***** because I know that's wrong. Even worse, if you try and fail you spend God knows how long in a psych hospital. Clearly, not worth it. But I want this cr*p to end, NOW!!