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Author Topic: Seperation Anxiety?  (Read 101 times)

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Offline idontcare69

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Seperation Anxiety?
« on: February 19, 2014, 11:39:08 PM »
I feel so silly typing this, because I'm an adult and it seems like something only babies and dogs get but its getting really bad. I'm extremely attached to my boyfriend lately. Its even gotten past the point of just being clingy, whenever he tries to leave I panic and cry until he stays and he ends up staying at my house days at a time. This last time he had to leave while I was asleep so I wouldn't freak out. I can't stand to be alone, all I do is cry and I get extremely depressed and I can't sleep at all unless he's there with me. I think it started when my mom and my brother both moved out of our house at the same time a month ago, leaving me here by myself all the time. I CANT be by myself, I try to do things to distract myself but I still have this awful feeling inside me that I can't really explain. I don't know if this has anything to do with it but I've been taking in a lot of animals lately, maybe to keep me company idk (I got a puppy three days ago and a snake last week). I can't keep going on like this and I don't have another appointment with my therapist for another month, I don't know what to do
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Seperation Anxiety?
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2014, 05:48:32 AM »
Case of trying to replace the boyfriend as your form of safety for something else. As we have to accept that he has a life too. One he has to live. I think I posted on something similar only yesterday. I suggested maybe buying a camera and taking a few pictures. A new interest. It might sound odd. But looking at life through the lens of a camera can be a whole lot different. Then you have to look for the perfect thing to take a picture of. This might get you out and about. As you search for the perfect scene. It is similar to a kid with a safety blanket or even an adult with a safety zone. Trying to more away from what makes us most safe. But doing so by using another form of distraction. A more positive one. One that might even help you out come the end of the day. It will be hard at first. But the more you try it out, the easier it will become.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Seperation Anxiety?
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2014, 08:43:54 AM »
Cuch has some good suggestions. I suggest you have lots of company. There are plenty of people who never experience that important developmental step of being alone. Me included. Do try to prepare myself in case it should happen.

This is a big transition period and can be a good learning and growth time for you. Learn about yourself, praise yourself, boost your sense of self worth and self confidence. Maybe discuss CBT with your therapist, research it for now and perhaps find a support group. We are here to listen to you and try and cheer you.
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Offline MissSteele

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Re: Seperation Anxiety?
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2014, 02:46:14 PM »
idontcare69, I feel your pain. I have been through this as well. Obviously, you have recognized this is a problem for you or else you wouldn't be writing about it on this forum  :yes:. This is such a cliche thing to say, but I would STRONGLY suggest getting some therapy for this. Have you ever seen a therapist? You are not crazy, there is no taboo for seeking a little help. Trust me, I've been there. They would not think it was a "silly" problem. There are some underlying issues that are making you cling so badly to your boyfriend as a safety blanket. Extreme anxiety makes it incredibly difficult to be all...ever. Everyone will tell you that. A therapist can help talk these things out with you, they will listen to you. They will help you take baby steps to freeing yourself from this separation anxiety. They will teach you how to cope with it. Medication is something I would also recommend to you, as it helped me. Lexapro is what my doctor recommended. This is a temporary thing you are going through, you can get past it, but you need to take the first steps to do so. YOU CAN DO THIS!
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