I haver been a reader on this site for quite some time without ever posting, but today i need to vent to some people who might understand me.
I am 25 years old, I am french so my english might not be flawless. I moved to Canada 5 years ago alone and i have been suffering from anxiety ever since.
Whats bring me today is my situation with work... I have a good paying job, most of the time its also interesting and I love my coworkers. Overall I really enjoy my job and these are hard to come by! The only issue i have is the shift i`m currently working. Its from 1:30 to 11:30 PM. Which isn't that bad, except that with my anxiety,good sleep is hard to get and my natural pattern is more to go to bed early and wake-up early. But with this shift, i usually im home around 1 AM if im lucky (I leave far from work and don't have a car). So I arrive at 1AM and usually get in bed around 2 (time to shower etc.). But my boyfriend has to wake up at 6 for his job, and because im already anxious not to get enough sleep, my sleep is very light and i very rarely manage to go back to sleep after 6. So this gives me 4 hours of sleep for a 10 hours shift plus commute, 14 hours day. Let me tell you my friends, it is not enough. So i`ll make it 1 day, 2 days, 3 days but usually by the 4th i am so exhausted i call in sick (like today). But instead of relaxing on my sick day, i am in complete panic that i`ll end up getting fired because of my absenteeism and I feel really ashamed missing work, especially to my family.
So far, management at my company has been really understanding about that and i have explained the situation to them. But i mean one day, it`ll just be too much... I also told them that the schedule isnt working for me, but because of seniority i am pretty much stuck doing that shift and I understand...
I have brought up this issue to doctors but they will just trow a prescription at me and send me on my way. So far I got prescribed Zopiclone and Trazodone, tried each of them once, i feel terrible the following day.
I started CBT too which i love but didnt really help the sleep issue yet (Just started) and im thinking of buying melatonin today, give it a try!
So here`s my rant, feels good to vent. Thank you all for reading and suggestions if you have some!