...it strikes back even harder.
I was fine for the last 3 weeks without Googling, actually, more than fine, I was great. My rational thinking was dominant and I could dismiss all of the anxious thoughts.
I got tingling in big toe about a week ago, and I was able to dismiss it as nothing. I had those electrical sensations produced by touch in my left foot but those are now almost gone. So that wasn't MS, but this is? Nah...my rational mind was great in dismissing it.
Then, I noticed I may see a little reflection on subtitles when I watch them from distance in a dark. Blurry vision? Now years of previous Googling kick in...Optical neuritis is the most common symptom in persons with MS, it presents with blurry vision...I don't even know wtf optical neuritis is...but my mind is just incredible machine who disregards facts so it connected blurry vision, tingling in big toe, DING DING, PPMS on the way...and so I got incredibly anxious all of a sudden and I wasn't able to sleep all night.
Of course, it's Saturday, so ophthalmologists doesn't work 'till Monday so I can't check my eyes.
Anyway, I haven't Googled yet, and i refuse to Google, since I don't have idea how to check if I have optical neuritis or not, I might just freak out even more.
Road to anxiety free life is a damn hard one to travel, but I hope it will be better, it has to be...