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Author Topic: New and looking for support...religious OCD  (Read 230 times)

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Offline sdd

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New and looking for support...religious OCD
« on: February 09, 2014, 08:56:15 PM »
I am new here.  I have had pure O ocd since I was probably 12.  My OCD tends to jump from thing to thing.  The first thing I remember fearing was harming others.  Then I jumped to fear of being possessed by demons.  Then I jumped to certain diseases, etc.  After I had my 2nd child, my OCD got really bad.  I went to a psychiatrist and was formally diagnosed with Pure O OCD.  The doctor put me on meds and things got better for several years. 

Recently, after having my 3rd child my OCD is back with a vengence.  I feared norovirus for about a year and a half.  Now, my OCD has switched again.

A couple of weeks ago I read a story about a woman and her children who were possessed by demons.  I used to fear this as a teen.  So, it brought all of those fears back.  I started googling.  My fear grew, I googled more, fear grew, google...see the pattern?

So, I am here typing this after searching for a place with people who I could talk to...who might understand.

I am terrified about 60% of the time right now.  The other 40% of the time, I'm scared but functional.  Can anyone relate?
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: New and looking for support...religious OCD
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2014, 10:03:33 AM »
I know my daughter could relate to that demon thing!   She had herself so upset and anxious about the fact the she MAY become possessed! She was like that about 2 years, then it subsided and when she went to a local convenience store her receipt said, "$6.66" she flipped out all over again for months.   She's fine again, but she thinks everything is a sin!  It was pretty bad for a while.   
I myself fear those stomach bugs every year (noroviruses, norwalk virus, rotovirus, whatever it may be like that).  Last year I heard it was SO bad that I refused to go out to eat anywhere because I didn't know who would be touching my food.  I had to go to a funeral in February and they had the dinner afterwards and I was freaking out.  Of course no one knew this, I hide it, but I tried to only eat "safe" things that most likely no one touched with their hands (ex: I wouldn't eat the fried chicken because someone probably plated it with their fingers)
telling anyone who was nosy, "Oh I'm not really hungry"  (I was starving!) I also have all kinds of health anxiety over cancer, MS, tumors, you name it!  One worry stops and another starts, some even overlap.  I have to keep checking and checking the thing I am worried about over and over again (well maybe I didn't look at it right a half hour ago, maybe look at it from a different angle, try a different flashlight, feel around for swollen nodes, and on and on it goes.   Oh yes, I can relate to you in the health OCD.  Too bad my daughter wasn't into posting on boards, she could ABSOLUTELY relate to the religious OCD!
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Offline sdd

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Re: New and looking for support...religious OCD
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2014, 10:52:00 AM »
Yes, last year was what set off my fear of norovirus.  I hadn't thrown up in 24 years and I did last year.  My whole family came down with it and it just sent me over the edge.  I struggled with it until about 2 weeks ago when I read the stupid story about a woman's kids becoming possessed.  Honestly right now I am wishing I was still struggling with the fear of stomach bugs!  It's less terrifying and I can at least sleep!

Thank you for sharing.  It is so frustrating that we KNOW these things are irrational, yet they seem so real to us at the same time.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: New and looking for support...religious OCD
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2014, 11:23:39 AM »
My daughter went to talk to a Priest about that possession worry.  What religion are you?  Maybe you could talk to some clergy.  The Priest helped her a lot.
I would think that since you DID become sick that it would lessen your fear.  The last time I threw up was March of 1968 so needless to say I am PETRIFIED as I don't even recall what it feels like, I was in grammar school.  Do you recall what started your fear? (both fears)
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Offline sdd

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Re: New and looking for support...religious OCD
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2014, 10:36:32 PM »
I have no idea what started my fear of throwing up.  I have just never been a person that throws up very often.  I can think of maybe 3 times that I threw up as a child until high school.  I didn't throw up all through highschool, college and for years after.  The thing is, when I did throw up, it wasn't that bad.  So, I don't know why the fear kicked in a few months later.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: New and looking for support...religious OCD
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2014, 02:40:21 PM »
Just checking in to see how you are doing  :action-smiley-065:
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