Hi ridgerunner, I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time. I could go on for hours about this subject. But I'll try to make it short. I completely understand what you mean when you say your OCD has a way of making you feel that this time you should really be worried! This time it's real... We'll it's not. It will never be. Easier said than believed,I know. The fact that these thoughts make you feed bad means that you DONT want them. But the more you push them away and the more you panic the more your brain is like hey this is important we need to worry and think think think think about this. It makes you sad and depressed for a reason, remember that. Best of luck friend, stay strong.