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Author Topic: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!  (Read 422 times)

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Offline Jamie74

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I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« on: February 06, 2014, 04:12:09 PM »
Ok so here is my problem, hopefully you can offer some insight. As few years ago I experienced my first anxiety attack and things have gone downhill since then, but I am happy to say the anxiety is nowhere near what it was. But I can't stop thinking about dying and leaving my kids without a father. I think about death several times a day and it has consumed my life to a degree. This morning my best friend of many years called and the first thing out of his mouth was "how's your health"? I replied "good I think". Then he said he had a dream last night that he and I were at a coat rack picking out a coat for me because I was dying, but didn't know it. In his dream the rack was spinning and stopped on a leather coat with holes in the sleeve and I said that is your coat. Then the rack stopped on a tan colored coat for me. By this point my mind is going crazy worrying about dying. Then I explained to him that three weeks ago I had a dream he had died in a car accident which I thought the two dreams were weird to say the least, but now the thought of death has consumed my day.

I often worry about pains and aches (I'm 39) and I instantly wonder is it my heart, am I going to die. I have been to the my PCP and cardiologist (I see the cardiologist because of family history of early heart problems) and have had test after test. They always come back normal and my cardiologist said my heart was strong. All of my blood work is fine and I had a complete physical a few months ago which was also normal. I always worry that there is an underlying illness that they haven't found yet and to be frank, it scares the hell out me.

Well I appreciate you taking a moment to read my post.
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Offline Caribou

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2014, 04:18:59 PM »
I use to have the exact same worry as you do.  I do sometimes still think about it, but I eventually just leave it because I know one day that I will die.  Death is something that is 100% guaranteed in life, that it will happen to you - so why worry about it?

The dreams I would just set aside because that's what they are - dreams.  And since you have had numerous tests to say that you are fine then why are you so concerned.  I understand that the thought of death alone is terrifying, but you are healthy and have many more years ahead of you.  If there was an underlying illness, your doctors would have found it by now.  We all get aches and pains, and some more than others worry about them.

Even with the family history of early heart problems, there is no guarantee it will happen to you.  So try and relax - I know easier said than done.
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Offline Jamie74

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2014, 04:30:22 PM »
Thanks Caribou. I completely understand that death is a guarantee and no one escapes this world alive. My fear isn't so much about me dying, its about my family. Throughout the day I have visions of me in a casket, which is new and scares the heck out of me.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2014, 05:10:20 PM »
If your friend knows your fear that is NOT a friend!!  I would never tell ANYONE I dreamt something like that!  (My friend did that to me one time when I was about 10 and I worried for so long after that!)  Dreams mean nothing, but to someone with anxiety, OCD, or what have you it gets blown out of proportion.

I knew this lady that SWORE she'd never make it to 30, she had dreams of herself in a casket, etc.... then around 35 she began to swear she'd never make it to 40, planning her funeral, etc.  Then 50 - she is now about 62 and stopped all that.

You are fine  - all your tests are great, try to relax and don't let mean "friends" ruin your life.
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Offline mhmommy

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2014, 05:39:58 PM »
I feel the same way. I'm 39 too; panic attacks started last year and things have gotten worse ever since.
I've gotten ct scans, exams, bloodwork, ER visits and I truly am afraid now after radiation exposure I may
not be around for my 3 kiddos. I think its common for people our age to have panic attacks, with hormones, etc.
changing and I wish doctors recognized it for what it is, and also people with health anxiety. Which, as of last year
with my first ER visit with panic attack and sinus tachycardia I became someone with health anxiety.
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Offline Kantsas

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2014, 06:46:04 PM »
One thing I do to ease my fear of death is to read accounts of people who have died and come back and how they described it. Usually they say they just felt this feeling of absolute peace and stillness like the deepest most embracing sleep ever.

As far as a fear of not existing anymore or what comes after death think of it this way: No one knows! There are all sorts of different accounts from people who were brought back about what they saw, some have some consistency (a white light, relatives, voices) but others are just weird. I talked to a guy one time who told me he was electrocuted and he was dead for several minutes. He said he was in the back of a comedy club and everyone around him was frozen in a laugh, and the laugh went on for eternity and he was filled with the kind of euphoria you only get when you are hanging with your best friends and can't stop laughing at a joke.

So life after death could be anything, and I doubt it is nothing. But one thing we do know for certain the very end is always peaceful.
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Offline patmob

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2014, 06:15:48 AM »
"I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens" Woody Allen  :laugh3:
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Offline psychopika

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2014, 06:25:32 AM »
Ok so here is my problem, hopefully you can offer some insight. As few years ago I experienced my first anxiety attack and things have gone downhill since then, but I am happy to say the anxiety is nowhere near what it was. But I can't stop thinking about dying and leaving my kids without a father. I think about death several times a day and it has consumed my life to a degree. This morning my best friend of many years called and the first thing out of his mouth was "how's your health"? I replied "good I think". Then he said he had a dream last night that he and I were at a coat rack picking out a coat for me because I was dying, but didn't know it. In his dream the rack was spinning and stopped on a leather coat with holes in the sleeve and I said that is your coat. Then the rack stopped on a tan colored coat for me. By this point my mind is going crazy worrying about dying. Then I explained to him that three weeks ago I had a dream he had died in a car accident which I thought the two dreams were weird to say the least, but now the thought of death has consumed my day.

I often worry about pains and aches (I'm 39) and I instantly wonder is it my heart, am I going to die. I have been to the my PCP and cardiologist (I see the cardiologist because of family history of early heart problems) and have had test after test. They always come back normal and my cardiologist said my heart was strong. All of my blood work is fine and I had a complete physical a few months ago which was also normal. I always worry that there is an underlying illness that they haven't found yet and to be frank, it scares the hell out me.

Well I appreciate you taking a moment to read my post.

If you ever mentioned to your best friend your fears about being / getting sick or dying, it's not surprising that he had a dream like that. It doesn't say anything about YOU or YOUR FUTURE, it only says something about your friend and the way he made associations in his mind.



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Offline marc

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2014, 08:26:11 AM »
I think we all fear death. It is just that some can cope with it better than others. Some of us are
wired differently, where we worry about uncertainty. I wish there were some answers that I could give you
to calm your fears, but I really don't have any. I was always told that you have no choice in many matters but to
deal with them head on, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Jamie74

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Re: I can't stop worring about dying!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2014, 11:22:12 AM »
I actually have never told anyone but my wife, So he would not know and we live about 1300 miles apart.
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Tags: death anxiety 
 

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