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Author Topic: im tired of this. I just want to be normal again  (Read 161 times)

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Offline xiph

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im tired of this. I just want to be normal again
« on: February 06, 2014, 02:29:05 AM »
A couple hours ago I was driving and I felt a quick sharp pain( like less than a second) in my right side. I pull over and start freaking out because I thought I was dying. Called my parents and could barely talk because I was hyperventilating and having heart palpitations. I tried to drive home but I was still breathing heavily and it felt like I was gonna pass out so I had to pull over again. Luckily this time a cop was near by and she calmed me down til the ambulance came. All my vitals were fine and the doctor gave me an ekg. I was positive everything was fine because I had 3 ekg's, echo, and some blood work done over the course of a year. He said it came back abnormal and I needed to see a cardiologist for more testing. Like really? How many times do they need to test my heart? Does the average person need to get their heart check every couple of months? It's so stupid and I'm frustrated with this stupid process. It almost seems like they don't even care with their nonchalant attitude. I'm a 20 year average size male constantly worried about my health and I would just like to be normal again. All of this started when I felt like I had trouble breathing and looked online and seen heart disease. Now almost a year went by and I'm still dealing with this. When does it end?


Sorry I just wanted to vent a little bit. After this Xanax wears off I'll probably be back to worrying about my heart and chest pains :(
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Offline xiph

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Re: im tired of this. I just want to be normal again
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2014, 02:52:59 AM »
Oh and that's the other thing; I hate taking medicine! I'm so scared I'm gonna get hook to them and then go through withdraws when I try to get off.

Like, when this Xanax wears off and the anxiety comes back. Then what? Take another one? Then I won't feel normal without the pill.

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Offline xiph

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Re: im tired of this. I just want to be normal again
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2014, 04:46:18 AM »
lol now it's almost time for my parents to leave for work
Still up, sitting on the computer
Video games have gotten boring
I don't really have any friends anymore since I dropped out
Tomorrow is probably gonna be cloudy winter weather
Once again, sitting here bored and will face the wrath of anxiety as soon as the meds wear off when I wake up


I kinda just want to die. I'm tired of going through this so if I have something please just kill me. I have no idea how some of you guys can on for years with this. I guess I have depression and health anxiety
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: im tired of this. I just want to be normal again
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2014, 05:33:41 AM »
That is the anxiety for you. Learn how to breathe in the correct way. Look on you tube. There are lots of good videos. Watch them. Put them to use. Take your life back. It can be done. You just have to believe in yourself.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

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