In 2011 I sadly had to see my father develop cancer and deteriorate very quickly, before a firm diagnosis was made. That seemed like a very sudden death, and I subsequently developed a phobia of dying suddenly. This is what started my health anxiety. Gradually, I started feeling better and more "rational" about my health fears.
Last year I got married and moved to a new city with my husband. Shortly after that, a friend of his died suddenly in a bicycle accident. I think this "reminded" my brain of my sudden death phobia, and now it's fresh in my head again, and not only am I afraid that I will die suddenly, I'm afraid that my husband will too. Every night when he falls asleep, I lie awake and if he breathes too quietly I panic that he stopped breathing. Every night when we say goodnight he says "see you in the morning" and in my head I'm secretly thinking "yes, hopefully, if I don't die during the night". And it's really upsetting because I really don't want to think that anymore but I can't seem to stop.
Does anyone have any advice?