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Author Topic: Harm ocd thought content  (Read 320 times)

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Offline ridgerunner

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Harm ocd thought content
« on: January 23, 2014, 01:36:23 PM »
I have not been on this forum for yrs now.  I have had ocd for 25 yrs and diagnosed 3 times. I have the usual checking switches appliances door locks etc.  these I can live with. I have had episodes of harm, *****, pocd, religious, HIV, and you name it. My harm ocd has popped up again about my 11 yr old son who is my life. I love him and cherish him. These thoughts have always mostly been what if I harmed but now they have morphed into I WANT to harm him. That's the repetitious thought that keeps bombarding me with extreme guilt depression anxiety and horrible fear. Is it possible for ocd to come in the form of I WANT to thoughts.  It causes me such grief and it makes me so scared I'm losin my mind. I have never been violent. I'm the total opposite. Strong family values and a huge heart. These thoughts are ruining me. The week before this started I was on a religious theme about my faith in god. It was ridiculous. That lasted until this started. It plain to see I don't enjoy these thoughts but then ocd tries to disapprove that too. Have any if you ever thought want to thoughts along with what if thoughts. I know reassurance is bad but I'm really scared
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Offline Chilly

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Re: Harm ocd thought content
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2014, 02:49:23 AM »
    Harm thoughts are the hardest for me to get past as well. Like you, I struggle with the "what if I start WANTING to do these horrible things?!?" type of questions. It absolutely horrifies me, but its even worse when it doesn't seem to bother me as bad. That's when I start wondering about my own good nature and intentions and almost become convinced that I'm some terrible, ugly being.
    In reality, we don't want to be anything close to what our fears keep whispering to us. You've defeated it before, you can do it again! It may have put on a different mask, but it's still the same lie.
    BTW, I just started reading "The Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer,PhD. You may have already read it, but if you haven't, I recommend it. It's been a great resource for me so far when it comes to intrusive thoughts and obsessions.
    Good Luck!
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Harm ocd thought content
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2014, 07:54:14 AM »
I'm into thoughts of harming myself which starts with how I have failed others and progresses to may as well fail myself. But I know I won't do anything, as you won't.

It's a faulty brain issue that needs treatment, maybe a shrink, medication, talk therapy. For me it is a steady dose of CBT, journaling, variety of exercise, and daily meditation. May check out the book mentioned, thank you.
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Offline sdd

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Re: Harm ocd thought content
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2014, 09:09:49 PM »
Harm thoughts are THE worst to go through.  I totally understand.  I have gone from the "what if" to "I want" .  My psychiatrist told me something years ago when my 2nd baby was born and my ocd was at it's worst.  It was very helpful that I try to repeat to myself.  "The very fact that this thought BOTHERS you, tells me you would never, EVER act on it."  I also read that a person with OCD is the least likely person to ever harm a person because we are so incredibly sensitive and even a bad thought (that everyone has, by the way) bothers us so much.
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