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Author Topic: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can  (Read 159 times)

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Offline NeedToChillOut

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Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« on: January 21, 2014, 12:49:11 PM »
So, I've already gone over this but it's bothering me again, out of nowhere.  Last summer (August) I went to the E.R. and got an ultrasound for what turned out to be minor gynecological concerns which have since resolved.  It also happened to be one of the worst days of my life due to something extremely stressful happening (which is partly OK and much better now but still an ongoing issue.)

At the E.R. the doctors told my my blood test was "normal." I was happy to hear this, but I took the ultrasound report and the blood test report (which I did not look at) to the doctor a few days later.  He had only gotten the "normal" word from the E.R. and looked at the actual report only because I brought it to him.  He said he wasn't worried about much, but he was only a little worried that my WBC count was "a little high."   He asked me a few questions about signs of infection (like vomiting/diarrhea, which I did not have.)   I freaked, and he said he was just going to do a follow-up ultrasound in 6 weeks, and if everything looked OK, he would not even re-run the blood test.  I was upset, since the E.R. doctor marked it "normal."  I wondered if it was within normal limits or just outside the limit if one doctor called it fine and another called it "slightly high."

The follow-up ultrasound was fine and I never had to see the doctor; he just called to say it came back fine.  That was in the fall.  I feel fine and healthy. I've gotten colds - I've gotten over them.  I'm completely the same as always.   It still bothers me, though, because I fear blood cancers and it freaks me out to hear that ANYTHING is not right.  I wonder if the extreme stress at the time of the blood test could have elevated it.  I would be completely terrified to have it checked again now that I heard it was a little high.  I hate worrying like this.
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Offline NeedToChillOut

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2014, 12:58:26 PM »
I feel sort of dumb because I see that I already asked about this in August and already got replies.  I don't know why it's worrying me again since nothing has changed, but that's the nature of this mental problem, huh?

And after that I got all worried about a 12mm uterine lining measurement; the doctor gave me meds to bring that down and I've hardly given it a thought since then.  Has anyone else found that they "rotate" the worries, with one being completely forgotten about while another takes the forefront, and then maybe a new one comes in and THAT one is mostly forgotten?
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Offline MOchp

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2014, 01:09:08 PM »
Sometimes with health anxiety, it will go from one thing to another whenever we get reassurance for that one thing. Other times though one thing can stay stuck in your mind for whatever reason. I had a freakout and a doctors appointment to deal with what I was freaking out about a few months back and got feeling better afterwards. I have been messing up my med dosages recently and my anxiety has cropped back up a bit because of that. This time around my anxiety has latched onto the same thing that I was worried about those few months back. I don't know why our minds pick the things it does to focus on with our health anxiety, but it can be a bit annoying for sure.
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Offline NeedToChillOut

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2014, 01:44:25 PM »
Thanks, MOChip.  I read your blog a little, too, and I can relate to the sweating.  I guess I have to admit I'm a very anxious person, and a lot of it is suppressed and made subliminal.  Lately I have had episodes of breaking out in a sweat, but theyr'e definitely not random and upredictable:  When I stop and analyze it, I was interacting with someone and it made me very anxious, or I was thinking about things that would make anyone feel terrible.  My mind is my worst enemy,I guess.
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Offline MOchp

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2014, 02:25:26 PM »
Thanks, MOChip.  I read your blog a little, too, and I can relate to the sweating.  I guess I have to admit I'm a very anxious person, and a lot of it is suppressed and made subliminal.  Lately I have had episodes of breaking out in a sweat, but theyr'e definitely not random and upredictable:  When I stop and analyze it, I was interacting with someone and it made me very anxious, or I was thinking about things that would make anyone feel terrible.  My mind is my worst enemy,I guess.

The sweating thing does suck for sure, especially when out in public at dinner or something. For us hypos, our minds are our worst enemies for sure. I posted today in another topic that it's interesting and sad that us hypos seem to "live our own demises" over and over. Many of us have had multiple times where we thought, "Well this is it, I'm done for.", when that of course wasn't even close to the truth.
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Offline NeedToChillOut

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2014, 02:43:19 PM »
That's true; I drove in to the gynecologist a couple of years ago pretty much making final arrangement plans in my head, and thinking how sad it would be to not see my family, or for them to lose me, when it turned out I had something about as serious as a zit.  Of course I could kick myself now for being that dramatic about the unknown.

Lots of time wasted thinking about one disease or another, and we are oftentimes fortunate enough to find out later that we don't have that particular concern at all.
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Offline Walking Circles

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2014, 02:53:49 PM »
I can relate to rotating anxieties. I bounce from one fresh hell to the next lol. As soon as I get one under wraps another comes up or an old one creeps back. As I say if I'm going to be this way might as well have some variety!
I hope it gets better for you, I think for many of us the key is learning to squash these things when they first appear.
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Offline MOchp

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Re: Please help me be less uneasy, if you can
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2014, 02:55:28 PM »
That's true; I drove in to the gynecologist a couple of years ago pretty much making final arrangement plans in my head, and thinking how sad it would be to not see my family, or for them to lose me, when it turned out I had something about as serious as a zit.  Of course I could kick myself now for being that dramatic about the unknown.

Lots of time wasted thinking about one disease or another, and we are oftentimes fortunate enough to find out later that we don't have that particular concern at all.

It always turns out that we were freaking out about something we shouldn't have been, but we never seem to learn.
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