It's all kind of a long story, so bear with me. Last year my best friend met this guy (let's call him Jim), she fell in love, they got close, etc, etc...anyway, the three of us (along with a couple other people) spent a lot of time together last year. We all became super close until we were hanging out about 4 times a week. But somewhere along the road, I ended up falling for Jim. I remember the day I met him, I had this feeling like we were supposed to be together. But I didn't want to hurt her, so I swallowed my feelings and instantly tired to get over it. Months went by, and the two of them still weren't dating. They had a lot of problems on and off, but I never understood why they didn't make it official. During this time period I had completely forgotten about my feelings...but my friend had become extremely possessive over him. It got to the point where I couldn't even talk to him without her getting upset. He became her world. Suddenly she didn't know how to function without him, and nobody else mattered. She became a drag to be around, and very mean-spirited. Now, she's always been the clingy, jealous, over-dramatic type...but I had never seen it this bad. It was unbearable to be around. More months went by, and the wall she had driven between us was becoming thicker and stronger. The fact that the two of them still weren't dating made her suspicious and depressed. Their boomerang "relationship" was taking its toll on her, and she took it out on everyone else around her. I tried my best to be there for her and comfort her, but my efforts were futile. Then sometime in late September, Jim asked me for some help with a project. We spent two weeks on and off with this project, and we became close. I mean, we were close before, but this made us closer. Those feelings I had long ago...yeah, they came back. For nearly two months, I was completely entangled in him. I was head over heals for him, and there was no way out. I kicked myself for even thinking about him, because I didn't want to betray my friend. But...a few weeks later, he ended it with her. Turns out she treated him like crap, and he couldn't handle it. My friend was completely devastated. I felt so bad. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't do anything. And then it happened...maybe a month or so later, he confessed that he had feelings for me, so I confessed mine. We kissed, and it was the best feeling. That is, until I realized what I had done. I was now faced with a very difficult decision. Clearly I could not keep them both. I tried to refrain from closeness with Jim until I could figure out what to do, which was incredibly hard and didn't really work. But if anything, I had to tell my friend. Over the next month I tried to find a decent time/way to tell her, but I could never get it out. We got into some nasty fights over stupid things, didn't talk for a while, then talked again on and off. I never told her...and then the worst happened. Last night I got a message on ***** saying that she knows about me and Jim, and that she doesn't want to be friends anymore. My heart about shattered. I mean, I guess I deserve this. I should have just been honest, if anything. But I just can't help how I feel. I've never loved a guy the way I love Jim. He makes me genuinely happy. But now I feel like a piece of me is missing. My friend and I have been bffs for most of our lives. I never imagined my life without her. I'm crushed. I'm also worried about her, because she doesn't handle these situations well. I just don't know what to do. My friends and family just tell me to move on...but how do I move on from this? I ruined her, and I don't think I can ever forgive myself.