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Author Topic: Just want to accept diagnosis  (Read 302 times)

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Offline lauren4329

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Just want to accept diagnosis
« on: January 16, 2014, 08:43:01 PM »
I recently wrote about this in thorough detail, but I'm writing again much more briefly, more for opinion than I was last time for reassurance.

The week of Thanksgiving break I experienced flu-like symptoms such as fatigue and aches and pains and was experiencing strange shortness of breath sensations (not necessarily gasping for air, but it just felt like i wasnt getting enough breath in. I went in to a local day and clinic and they ran a chest x-ray, EKG, and urine and blood tests and all that came back was an elevated WBC count so they sent me on my way with antibiotics. After a couple of days of rest I began to lose the shortness of breath feeling.

Then, on December 2nd I woke up with a strange sensation in my head. It wasn't necessarily a headache, but just a constant feeling of pressure on only the right side of my head all day long. This continued on the whole week, with occasional sharp stabs of pain on that same side of my head developing. This drove my health anxiety through the roof, thoroughly convinced I had a brain tumor and weeks to live. What made me more anxious was the fact that no OTC would help. I went to my GP twice, who basically blew it off but ran more thorough blood tests. Everything came back fine excepted for an elevated ANA, which scared me even more but was again blown off by my GP. The pressure/stabs of pain continued and I began to notice occasional pins and needles sensations throughout my body. I went to one ER, who was quick to just diagnose it as a migraine (which I knew was definitely not an option)

I went to a second ER and the doctor sat down with me and talked to me thoroughly, trying to calm my brain tumor fears. He said from his physical exam that there was definitely nothing life threatening wrong with me and that he really didn't recommend a CT scan. He told me to perhaps look at this all being purely anxiety, which I was open to consider but still wasn't convinced that anxiety could cause these pains and sensations all day long. 

I was finally able to get a referral to a neuro in the middle of December. He did an even more thorough physical exam and also said that he really did not see anything wrong. He could sense that I would not be able to rest until I got visible confirmation that it wasn't a brain tumor, so he admitted me into the hospital as a faster way to get the MRI done. I experienced terrible head pain during my 2 night stay, but I figure this was just from my stress of missing school and my fear of hospitals. The MRI came back clear, which I thought would relieve my anxious thoughts but did nothing. They did a spinal tap and that came out looking clear as water and just fine, or so I thought.

After leaving the hospital, I went on a short trip over Christmas with my family to try to get my mind off things. I initially experienced some nausea, but that faded, and my pains/pressure was no longer constant, but would still come back throughout the day. The pains began to radiate from the back and top of my head to my forehead, teeth, and even jaw, but always on the right side. I also experienced pain/pressure in my right ear. Although the pain was always there, it was more of a distraction than something that made me have to stop what I was doing.

When I got back home, I got a call from my neuro. Apparently my spinal tap hadn't come back as clean as I had been told, because my WBC count in my fluid was 10, when the normal is 5. This scared the life out of me but he told me that it was viral meningitis, and while there was nothing they could do to help the pain, it wasn't life threatening and would eventually go away by itself. I suffered through a couple more days of pain and when I went to my follow up appointment with the neuro in early january, I felt like the pain was finally fading away. He confirmed again that it had been viral meningitis and sent me away.

However, just a day after that appointment, the pains came back full force. Ever since then, I have had the pains everyday all over my head and face but only on the right side, and occasionally experience pins and needles throughout my body. I am wrecked with worry once again. I never could accept the diagnosis of meningitis, because what I was experiencing did not really match the symptoms I was reading about. Also I am sure meningitis could not have been going on for this long. The elevated ANA in the white blood cells in my spine just scream cancer to me, and while I know it can't be a brain tumor now I'm sure that there's some other form of cancer wrecking my body. Could this really still be meningitis, a physical stem of my extreme anxiety, or is there some type of cancer inside of me that will not be found until after I'm dead? LIke I said, the pain is not the type that stops me from living on daily life, but the mental pain that comes with it just makes me want to quit. Will I ever get relief from these sensations or peace of mind????????????
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Offline lauren4329

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Re: Just want to accept diagnosis
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2014, 12:27:37 PM »
Anybody?
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Offline PrinceTuesday

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Re: Just want to accept diagnosis
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2014, 01:14:16 PM »
Sounds like anxiety that stemmed from your original illness (viral meningitis).  I have daily nausea, pins and needles sensations, and headaches. Doctors (neuro, GI doctor) have found nothing wrong so far. Sounds like you are going through a lot. The thing about you not matching the symptoms is that YOU aren't a board certified neurologist with a medical degree, he is. I have trouble trusting my doctors but in the end they don't want to miss anything seriously wrong either, they could lose a lot of money that way!
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Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: Just want to accept diagnosis
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2014, 02:13:48 PM »
You will get relief from the symptoms when you stop fearing the symptoms.  Resolve to live your life in a productive manner and complete the things you need to complete every hour of every day.  You have got to be self led in this, not symptom led. 

This is not an overnight cure, but gradually the sensations, which are disturbing but not dangerous, will fade.

It is well worth your time to investigate how to handle your anxiety.  This, too, takes work, but once you understand what your thoughts do to you you will be able to stop the fear of any strange sensations. 
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Offline lauren4329

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Re: Just want to accept diagnosis
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2014, 11:33:40 PM »
Thank you both for your replies. I had a great symptom free week and a half and life was starting to fall back into place again and everything felt great. Unfortunately tonight I was simply brushing my teeth and suddenly I felt the strange head sensation once again. Now it's on and off again and I am thrust back into my state of being worried sick. Looks like I am back to my sleepless nights of worry.
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