I'm 17 years old and I think when I'm this old I should be care free and having fun, but as it is I'm just trapped in my own thoughts, analysing every little thing that I think because I have a fear of becoming mentally ill.
I think this fear and obsession may have came around since my Mother passed away. My mother was Bi-polar type one with a bad case of anxiety and died due to her own actions because of her poor mental health as she was gripped in the Manic phase of her Bi-polar. This was when my anxiety really kicked up a storm...
I have a very good knowledge of mental health problems and in particular Bi-polar disorder as I have experienced it first hand with my mother and have researched every corner of the internet in order to try and find out about it as I'm scared because it runs in my family.
I can't live my life as I want as I am crippled by this fear of my own mental health. I don't know what the future holds and that makes me really scared and fearful. As far as I'm concerned I could become severely mentally ill in the future and I don't think I could deal with it.
Can anyone be kind enough to reply as I have had this fear for a long time and I just want it to end or at least lessen.
Any tips on how to stop focusing so much on my own thoughts would be appreciated as I am really desperate.
I look forward to some replies, Thank you so much for reading,