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Author Topic: Anxiety is my bad habit.  (Read 215 times)

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Offline JenMarie279

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Anxiety is my bad habit.
« on: January 08, 2014, 10:43:42 PM »
I've been trying really hard to understand my HA.  It's a fairly new thing (since the birth of my 4 month old) and I am REALLY trying to figure out what is going on in my mind.  I want to beat this, as it is completely ruining my life.  In the last few months I have "had" melanoma, breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, and brain tumors, and lymphoma.  Of course all of these are stage IV and in my mind I wont live to see next Christmas.  Having these thoughts are completely exhausting, as all of you know.  I'm drained.  Mentally and physically drained.  I am driving my husband crazy.  He does his best to be supportive, but I can understand him being fed up by a wife that is constantly crying because she "knows" that she has cancer.  I try to put myself in his shoes and I would be annoyed, too.

I have OCD, which I am sure has a lot to do with my HA.  I have always had to have something to obsess over.  When I find something to occupy my mind, it sticks.  I realized that my current obsession with my health is a bad habit and it is the perfect thing to feed my addictive personality.  I wish I knew how to make it go away, I'm only hoping that I can find something else (less stressful) to focus my attention on.  Any thoughts on this?
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Offline Gomubukai

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Re: Anxiety is my bad habit.
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 06:29:15 AM »

I know exactly what you mean about 'obsessing' over ha. And actually ha is apparently in the OCD spectrum of mental disorders anyway. So it wouldn't be a huge leap for you to have developed hypochondria as well :)

I have just started to recover from ha myself after an epic YEAR long fear that I have ms. I would in no way say I'm completely better. But I'm beginning to understand that I really might not have it.

Some of the things that have helped me most were trying to find ways to start making myself mentally stronger. I found a collection of meditation tracks online - it's an 8 step course and I believe that giving my mind a chance to just REST is something that has helped my body to also start to relax. I would recommend it!

The other thing is acknowledging that we do have ha and we will probably struggle with it forever. We can try to control the thoughts by just letting them wash over us without reacting emotionally. The difference between us and the average person is that when we have a distressing thought we react emotionally and latch onto it. Which makes it so much harder to let go of. It also conditions our bodies that the next time we have a similar thought we have to latch onto it as well to check it over for threats.  Letting the thought come and go without an emotional reaction is quite a hard step. But like anything it becomes easier with practice :)

The next thing is nutrition and sleep. This just helps the body be in top condition to fight the ha and help us be happy.

I also picked something that I WANTED to spend more time thinking about. A healthy thing that would be a much more productive channel for all the energy I waste worrying. So I picked music - I'm learning an instrument at the moment and when anxious thoughts strike. I try to divert them to thoughts about improving technique or reading music etc. I'm hoping with enough practice my mind will divert itself without my input - giving me the added bonus of more time 'practicing' music in my mind. Helping me learn faster.

I hope these tips help. Let us know how you go! :)
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