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Author Topic: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!  (Read 177 times)

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Offline kmoakk

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This would be a topic for the older users that are in serious relationships.
 
My fiance is going away tomorrow for a four days on a trip with his family. It makes me very nervous to the point where it makes me aggravated and shocker, anxious. I feel like my anxiety is causing me to feel very angry towards him? Has anyone ever experienced this? It's to the point where I don't want him going. I'm not sure what exactly is causing me to be this upset about it... but I just absolutely dread it and every time I think about it I get sick to my stomach with just pure anxiety.. I guess I just need advice or some other similar experiences. I just joined this website after reading several articles.. I was diagnosed with GAD when I was a sophomore in high school and only 15 years old.
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2014, 06:06:31 AM »
Do you depend on your boyfriend a lot? As in feel safer when he is around. He could be the person you always turn to. I am asking this because we get it a lot. Boyfriend or husband goes away and the other person feels more anxious until the boyfriend / husband returns. Just trying to understand it more. So if anybody else reads it they may know exactly what is going on in your mind / head. Do you trust him when he is away? I may have picked up on things wrong. But are you 15 now, or is it that your anxiety began at 15? If you are 15 he would be as young and I don't think his parents would want him staying at home. He would have no choice at all. If that is the case it would be out of his hands. I am thinking you are maybe older than 15 on reading your words again. I just feel you will miss him. He is the person who is always there for you. For four days you won't know what to be doing. Just try and find something else to put your thoughts on and the time will fly by. Some form of distraction.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2014, 08:28:38 AM »
Hi, well I can kind of relate..I also have GAD, my husband took a trip to Italy last year, was gone for 17 days. At first I didn't know how to handle him being gone.I felt pretty anxious about it, but as Cuchculan previously advised, I decided to keep busy. I did a lot of home maintenance work. Our front porch overhang had chipping paint, I took a ride over to Home Depot, bought a gallon of white paint, took out the 9 foot ladder, and started scraping away. Then I painted the overhang and the front door. I then went to the dollar store, bought some pretty flower pots, and planted my impatiens (that needed to be planted), put them on the porch after everything was freshly painted--it was just beautiful.  I gave the inside of the house a major dusting and cleaning too. When he came home it was a warm welcome for him.

So, try keeping busy---the time will fly by, before you know it he'll be back home :)
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2014, 09:40:09 AM »
Forgive me about the age side of things. I never read the topic title first. Engaged at 15 would be something else.  :laugh3: My mistake.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Offline kmoakk

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Re: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2014, 08:51:02 PM »
First of all, thanks for the replies! I am currently 18 soon to be 19 and was only diagnosed at the age of 15 haha. But when I think about him being away I just get like the weird "heart in stomach" feeling that I always get when my anxiety is acting up.. I just feel so mad towards him and I guess that is part of me not being able to handle my anxiety appropriately. I do in fact depend on my fiance, he is my best friend. So I feel as though him going away is in a sense him abandoning me. As a side note, I am adopted. I was adopted as a newborn but from the time I found out I was adopted (at the age of 9) I have had issues of people leaving me. I may have been diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 15 but I can remember having it from a very young age. I don't know much about my medical history but I do believe it is genetic. Anyways back to the point, I remember my father going away on a long trip about 4-5 years ago. I got so panicked and upset towards him that I can remember not talking to him for a very long time. I just couldn't understand why he was leaving. Like what could that other place have to offer him that I couldn't? So I do believe it is something about the male figures in my life that I am extremely close to. I have never been this way with my mother, though in past relationships I can remember being very upset at the thought of my S/O leaving for a long period of time. I hope this helped answer some of your questions.
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Offline kmoakk

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Re: Engaged and having trouble with my fiance going away on vacation?!
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2014, 08:52:47 PM »
First of all, thanks for the replies! I am currently 18 soon to be 19 and was only diagnosed at the age of 15 haha. But when I think about him being away I just get like the weird "heart in stomach" feeling that I always get when my anxiety is acting up.. I just feel so mad towards him and I guess that is part of me not being able to handle my anxiety appropriately. I do in fact depend on my fiance, he is my best friend. So I feel as though him going away is in a sense him abandoning me. As a side note, I am adopted. I was adopted as a newborn but from the time I found out I was adopted (at the age of 9) I have had issues of people leaving me. I may have been diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 15 but I can remember having it from a very young age. I don't know much about my medical history but I do believe it is genetic. Anyways back to the point, I remember my father going away on a long trip about 4-5 years ago. I got so panicked and upset towards him that I can remember not talking to him for a very long time. I just couldn't understand why he was leaving. Like what could that other place have to offer him that I couldn't? So I do believe it is something about the male figures in my life that I am extremely close to. I have never been this way with my mother, though in past relationships I can remember being very upset at the thought of my S/O leaving for a long period of time. I hope this helped answer some of your questions.
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